Autumn

September 9th, 1947.

Ginger Roots

I�m back in school again. Not much had changed in my life. I still lived in the same neighborhood and the soldiers were still in the country. My mother�s a little better now, and she�s actually active. She�s not working on her ikebana anymore. It�s different, and it crept me out.

She still wanted to say something so badly, but she couldn�t. My mother came and went mentally. This morning, I found her sitting in the living room out in a daze as I left for school. Her lips were pressed together as if she wanted to say something. She really wanted to. I wished I could hear her thoughts to figure out what. Then again, that would be a sensory overload on my part. Her thoughts were tangled up as it is. I was afraid I would get lost in them as well.
Yet, I couldn�t think about that right now. I had to go to school.

I walked through the living room to the front door and took one glance at her. Mother still sat in the dim morning light, unresponsive. It looked like a long day for her to be lost in her head too. I couldn�t focus on her.

�I�m leaving now,� I said. Naturally, she didn�t speak or look up. I shrugged my shoulders and sighed. Might as well leave the TV on for her, I thought. Maybe give her a little background noise. I walked over to the TV and flipped it on. More news about the Americans in Japan and the Cold War filled the room. I frowned and shook my head.

God, I hate that channel, I thought. Couldn�t the news talk about something happy for a change? I flipped through the channels until I came to the twenty-four hour weather channel. Good enough. I took one more look at my mother. She hadn�t moved an inch since I came into the room. I didn�t know what I was going to do with her. Maybe I�ll talk to Doctor Akai again today. I turned to leave.

�I�m leaving this time,� I said. Right, I thought. I was just about to leave when I heard a mumbling sound. I looked up. My mother sat in place.

�Mother?� I asked. �Did you say something?�

�Iwao-kun,� she said. �Iwao-kun. Iwao-kun.� I walked over to her.

�Yes, Mother? What is it?� I asked.

�Iwao-kun,� she said. �Iwao-kun.� I grabbed her hand.

�I�m right here. What is it?� I asked. Her hand gripped around mine as her lips trembled to say more. But then, she went back into her silent, damaged state of mind. Her hand loosened its grip from mine and went limp. I backed up from her in tiny steps. Okay, that was just creepy. She�s never done that before. What exactly was she trying to tell me? I shook my head. I really need to get to school. I hurried out of the living room, put my shoes on, and raced out the door.