Canto
Seventy-One: Cutting the Ties:
She got
pregnant—again. This would be our last child together. However, I wouldn’t hear
about this until much, much later. Like when she was seven months ago. Imagine
my shock when one of my subjects let it slip.
“What?!” I
asked. The subject had a nervous look on his face. He couldn’t even look at me.
I raised my eyebrow. The subject started mumbling to himself.
“What did you
say?” I asked. The subject just stared at me.
“Seriously?” I
asked. He bowed his head.
“I’m so sorry,”
he mumbled. I slammed my fist down on the desk.
“That’s not good
enough!” I shouted. My face was bright red. My subject turned around and ran. I
sat down at my desk and sighed. Madonna was pregnant again? When did this
happen? Oh, never mind. That happened. I buried my head in my hands. I
had a good idea as to who’s idea this was. I know why she did this. But still…
“How long were
you going to keep this from me?” I asked. Judith glanced up at me.
“I have no
idea,” she said. It took my all not to scream at her.
“You don’t know?
You don’t know?!” I asked. I couldn’t help when I raised my voice.
“Would it have
made it any better?” she asked. I glared at her. I hated it when she was right.
Judith closed her book.
“Look,” she
said. “I’m trying to save this kingdom here. You have really gone off track when
you started sleeping with angels. I get you can’t help who you fall in love
with, but you have to think of your kingdom.” I clicked my tongue. I hated that
she had a point. I got up and stormed out of the room.
“I’m doing this
all for the kingdom! This is all for you!” she shouted after me. I waved her off
as the door closed behind me.
They wouldn’t
let me see her. They wouldn’t let me see my own wife. At first, I was upset
about it. Over time, I didn’t know what to think. My subjects kept me busy with
work and my children. My children. They gave up on asking about their mother.
Well, almost all of them. Nicky never gave up hope on his dear mother. It broke
my heart to see his face. I ran out of excuses to tell him.
“When will Momma
get better?” he asked days before Christmas. I sighed and dropped my shoulders.
“I don’t know,”
I said at last. He stared at me with big eyes. I patted him on the head.
“To be honest, I
don’t think I will ever see her again,” I said.
“What?” he
asked. I pulled him into my arms.
“I might not see
you again either,” I said.
“Why?” Nicky
asked. He looked up with a worried look on his face. I sighed.
“We aren’t
supposed to be together,” I said. “You see… Momma is an angel. And I… Well, I am
me.”
“What does that
make me?” Nicky asked. I sighed.
“A mix of both
of us,” I said. “You’re a mutt.” He had a hurt look in his eyes.
“Is… Is that a
bad thing?” my little son asked.
“I don’t know,”
I said. “They say it is, but I don’t know myself.” I held my son to my chest. He
was trembling. It was then I knew that I couldn’t keep this up anymore. I
couldn’t balance this family with my kingdom. I hurt to say it, but I knew what
I had to do.
----------
The next
morning, I can by Judith’s office and knocked on the door.
“Enter,” she
said.
“I’m coming in,”
I said. I opened the door and walked inside. Judith stood up when she saw me. I
put up my hand.
“At ease,” I
said. (I don’t know why I said that.) Judith didn’t need to ask me why I was
here.
“Are you ready
for my help?” she asked. I lowered my head.
“Yes,” I said in
a low voice. She held out her hand. I took it, knowing what was going to come
next. This was how it had to be. I had to let my wife go. I had to end this
madness. This was going to hurt me, but it was for the best. I was doing this
for Nicky, Madonna, and the rest of the kids.
“Then come with me,” Judith said. She led me out of her office.