Chapter Six: Future Built on Lies:

Love is supposed to be built on truth and honesty. Ours was supposed to be. Well… Where do I begin? For one thing, I didn’t spend the whole relationship lying to her. There was just one big lie and a couple of half-truths. I mean that. So what was that lie? Let me back up a bit.

My girl and I were getting closer than I pictured. It didn’t feel real at times. Sometimes, I wondered if I was dreaming or not. How could such a sweet, kind, and beautiful girl want anything to do with someone like me? I had to pinch myself in the cheek several times.

“This is real.”

“Huh?” I turned my head. She was looking at me, smiling. How could such an angel be real? How did I get so lucky?

She made me want to do better for myself. I used to not care about what happened to me. No one else had any faith in me. Why should I care if no one else did? But she changed all of that. I wanted a future with her. I could see us getting married and having children. We could go live out in the country. She could have all of her pretty flowers. And I would be…

I frowned as I came to reality with that thought. What would I be doing in this fantasy? I didn’t have much going for me at the time. I might as well be considered an idiot with my grades. It was a miracle that I made it into high school. It didn’t dawn on me until then. I needed to try and make an effort to change.

There are a few things you are going to need to build a future. Money was a big thing. That and some of an education. I didn’t see myself graduating from high school before. But now…

I stared down at my textbook. When was the last time I opened this thing? The adults around me weren’t going to believe me if I did this. I pushed them out of my head. I wasn’t doing this for them. It would be for her and my future. I have to admit, I fell asleep in class the first couple of days I tried to make a difference. Who knew school could be so boring? Still, I didn’t give up. I needed to graduate from high school.

Now, I didn’t have any plans for college. I never saw myself going anyway. It was going to be high school and then find a job. That should be easy, right? You have no idea how much I had to struggle. I had to train myself not to fall asleep in class. The teachers were so boring. I don’t know how I managed to do it. My homeroom teacher was surprised to see me wide awake during class that first time. Heck, I even surprised me.

Homework was another matter. She had to come in and help with that one. It didn’t take much to convince her either.

“No problem,” she said. She was so proud of all the work that I was doing to make my life better. She didn’t go easy on me either. I didn’t know that I asked a drill sergeant to help me study. Asking her to let up wasn’t going to happen. I had to suck it up and do the best I could. My grades went up to B’s and C’s. I bet some of my teachers thought I was cheating. That didn’t matter. I was working toward something.

That still left another problem on my hands. I still needed a job. I didn’t have many skills going for me. I didn’t take too well to authority figures. (I really was a little shit back then.) Still, I needed money for that future I dreamed of. Luckily, there was one option that was wide open for me. However, it came with a catch.

My girl didn’t like war or violence. I heard her go on and on about it for days on end. So much so that I could predict what she was going to say about it. This was where the problem lay. And this was where the lie began.

It began on a Saturday. The origins of how this “brilliant” plan came to be still escape me. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Plus, I needed the money. I remembered a while back that the National Defense unit was looking for new members to recruit. Before I decided to change, I thought nothing of it. But now, that poster started to look good. She wasn’t too keen on it.

“Murderers.”

“Why do you say that?” I braced myself for another “war is bad” speech.

“War is murder!”

I put up my hand. “It doesn’t always have to be about war.” She narrowed her eyes at me. This wasn’t going to be an easy argument, was it? Still, something inside of me wasn’t going to let it go.

“They are there to keep the country safe,” I said.

“From what?” she asked.

“Outside powers. Natural disasters.”

“Why can’t the government be the one to do that?”

“They do. This is just back-up for them.” My words weren’t getting through to her. That was the moment that I learned that her cold eyes sent a shiver through my body. I took that as my cue to shut up about the issue.

“Promise me that you will never join,” she said the day before I made my decision.

“Huh? That was random.”

“Promise me!”

“What is this?”

“Promise me!”

“Okay, okay. I promise.”

“Say it like you mean it.”

I sighed. “Fine, I promise not to join the Defense Force. Happy now?” She rested her head on my chest.

“Thank you,” she murmured against my shirt. I gently patted her on the head. The matter would’ve ended there and everything would be going great. However, there was just one problem.

“It was all a lie,” I said to the glass doors of the recruitment office.