Chapter Sixty-Six: I Couldn’t Let Go:

I just keep making it worse, don’t I? Judith was right. Part of me still didn’t want to believe it. But now, I couldn’t deny it anymore. They wouldn’t let me into the delivery room. The nurses kept pushing me back.

“Sorry sir, you can’t be here,” one of them said.

“But my wife’s in there!” I said. The nurses looked at each other for a moment. One of them lowered her eyes.

“She doesn’t want to see you,” she mumbled.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“Please leave,” another nurse said. They looked at me with cold eyes. I dropped my shoulders, defeated.

“Fine,” I said. I turned and walked out of the ward. I ended up waiting in the hall. Judith was right. I had to let my wife go. But something in me wouldn’t let me break it off so easily. The war made it effortless to keep her in my kingdom. Now, the war was ending. How long before father demanded that she go back to Heaven. Maybe I should just let him.

I shook my head.

Something inside of me wouldn’t let me do that. This was my family after all. No, I was the one harming them. They can’t stay with me any longer. Madonna will go back to Heaven. But what about my children? They can’t go with her and they can’t stay with me. Judith promised that she will handle. Somehow, I don’t like the sound of that.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked. She took me by the hands.

“I have it under control,” she said. I wanted to believe her. Somehow, I didn’t have a choice anymore. I began to think about Lust. How was she doing now? Was she living a happy life? What about Irani? How was he doing? Did he ever get better from his illness? What about my other sons? How are they doing? I realized that I hadn’t even tried to look for them. I rubbed my forehead and laughed to myself. Some father I am. I can’t even be bothered to look after my children. Have I even paid attention to the ones with me now?

“Excuse me, sir?” I heard over my head. I looked up. The nurse stood with a calm expression on her face.

“It’s a girl,” she said. I rose to my feet as my eyes lit up.

“You mean it?” I asked. I don’t know why I asked that. I pushed past the nurse and ran down the hall.

“My lord!” she yelled after me. I tuned her out as there was only one thought in mind.

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Madonna sat in her bed, holding our new daughter. When I saw them, she looked like she was off in her own little world. A crooked smile spread across her face. She didn’t even respond to the baby cooing in her arms.

“Sweetheart?” I asked. No response. I walked closer to the bed. My hand outstretched towards her.

“Honey, it’s me,” I said. “How are you doing?” My wife didn’t respond. She didn’t even look up at me. My stomach dropped. Already, I started to fear the worst. Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks. Was she… laughing?

“Darling?” I asked. Madonna broke down laughing.

“Darling?” I asked again. She turned her head. Her eyes still looked so empty as she held our daughter to her chest. Only that crooked smile on her face broke the mask-like expression. The next thing she said made my blood run cold.

“You will never see your children again,” she said in a whisper. My eyes grew wide as I started shaking my head.

“You don’t mean that…” I said. My wife didn’t say anything else. She had that creepy smile on her face before she broke down laughing. I sank to my knees. Something inside of me knew that she was right. Still, I couldn’t let her go just yet. There would be one more baby between us. And keeping my wife around that long proved to be even more damaging to her as a whole and my reputation in my kingdom.