Chapter Six: My Bayu:

I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I still didn’t understand myself at the time. Being around her just made me feel so happy. I didn’t have to be in her bed. Just walking around in the garden with her was enough. Hearing her laugh was enough. Standing next to her was enough. I just had to be with her. I wasn’t sure how she felt about me. I didn’t know how to ask her either. I have tried many times. But when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. She notices it too.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked me one day during our walk around the garden. I shook my head.

“Yes,” I said. “It’s just…”

“What?” Bayu asked. I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s nothing,” I said. She cuddled up to me with a little smile on her face. My heart raced in my chest. I wanted to tell her what I felt. Things had started to get boring around Heaven. Everything is the same. Earth on the other hand is always changing. Father had fun creating everything. He didn’t seem to know how to stop either. We didn’t complain. He was the one in charge after all. I liked it because I wanted to see what Father would make next. Right now, it was all one huge landmass on big blue water.

“What is it called?” Bayu asked as she looked down on the Earth with me. I wanted to impress her at the time. Kind of dumb, but it worked out.

“It’s called the sea,” I said. She turned her head with big eyes.

“Really?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said.

“What is it like?”

“Big, beautiful, and blue.”

“Is it cold?”

“Not all of it.”

“Can I touch it?”

“Sure.”

“Does it feel nice?”

“Yes.”

Bayu leaned down to the glass. She looked like one of the little baby angels seeing flowers for the first times. “It’s so beautiful.” She turned to me. “Can we go down to the ocean sometime?”

“Of course,” I said. I didn’t think when I said that. Maybe it was because we were staring at the big blue below. It just slipped out of my mouth. Just like the next thing I said.

“I really feel something for you,” I said.

“Huh?” she asked. The more I spoke, the more I wondered where this was headed.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” I said. “I enjoy being by your side. I love being in your bed. I just love… being with you.” I had realized what I had said after closing my mouth. I stared her in the eye. She didn’t speak at first.

“You love… being… with me?” Bayu asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Oh…” she said a quiet voice. Come on, say something. I had pictured how this would play out in my head, but I wasn’t sure what the true outcome would be. I didn’t even understand what I was feeling. My only hope was that this wouldn’t end badly. Bayu clenched her fists by her sides.

“I… I don’t know what to say,” she said. I grabbed her by the shoulders.

“You don’t have to say anything,” I said. “Just… please… let me stay by your side.” Her amber eyes looked so confused.

“O-O-Okay…” she said. I kissed her on the forehead.

“Thank you,” I whispered. She wrapped her arms around me. I pulled her in my own arms. A weight had been lifted off me for saying all of that. I still don’t know how she really feels about me, but she didn’t turn me away in disgust or laugh in my face. This would have to do for now. Maybe she will come to fully feel the same about me. Maybe I will actually have a name for it. Maybe will we have it all figured out.

But for now, this will do.