Chapter Twenty-Two:
What Matters Most:
“What matters most
to you?”
“Huh?” I lifted my
head. Kaori sat across from me at the table in the cafeteria. Oh, this was
another one of her questions. I shrugged.
“I don’t know,” I
said. Kaori frowned.
“That’s not good
enough,” she complained. I shrugged again.
“What? What do you
want me to say?” I asked. “You always come up with all these philosophy
questions.” I rubbed on my forehead. “I don’t like doing so much thinking.” I
dropped my head down and pouted.
“Safety,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
Kaori looked me in the eye.
“I value safety in
the one I love,” she said. I sat up at how she said that.
“What does that
mean?” I asked. Kaori took a moment to think about how she wanted to word this.
“I think… I would
want to feel safe with the one I love,” she said. “Like not having to worry
about anything else. We don’t have to do anything either. We could just be in
the moment.” I stared at her, mesmerized. Usually, the things that came out of
her mouth made no sense. I didn’t hesitate to tell her as such. But this time,
it actually made sense to me.
“Yeah,” I said as I
sat up. “Yeah, you’re right.” Her eyes lit up.
“Really? You mean
it?” Kaori asked.
“Yeah,” I said,
nodding.
Surprisingly, her
words stayed with me. I couldn’t get them out of my head. The safety in the one
I love. On the surface, it sounded vague. But I did some thinking when I was in
the military. Sure, there was love. But how often was there safety in love? It
wasn’t something that you could explain in words. It was the type of thing that
you would know when you felt it. At the time, I hadn’t felt it yet. I wasn’t
sure that I ever would.
Well, you can guess
how that changed. However even now, I’m not sure if we’re at the level where I
can say there was safety in love yet. It would probably take more time before I
could feel it.
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“What matters most
to you?” I asked at dinner. Yumi looked up with a fried piece of tofu to her
mouth.
“Why?” she asked.
“Just asking,” I
said. Yumi took a moment to think.
“I would think that
it’s my family,” she said. “That would include you, Momma, and Papa. My friends
also matter to me.” Yumi did a little more thinking before nodding. “Yeah, I
would say that my family and my friends matter most to me. What about you?” I
sat back and smiled.
“Well, I would say the safety in the one I love,” I said. I expected Yumi to ask me what I was talking about. Instead, she sat there with a little smile on her face and a knowing look in her eyes. I didn’t have to ask.