Chapter Twenty-Eight: Daydreams:

-Paul-

I don’t understand her. No, that’s not right. I don’t understand what’s happening. More specifically, I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I used to enjoy being alone. I was used to it. But now…

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Mmm…” she said. I rolled my eyes. Since she came here, I don’t know what to do. I have tried to push her away. However, Nancy and her daughter have nowhere else to go. I am the only person in this neighbourhood. I doubt that Marshmallow will be of any help to her. I have no idea how this happened.

Well, I do, but I don’t.

She’s been trying to get out of here and I don’t stop her. If she wanted to go, who was I to stop her? But lately, it just doesn’t feel right. Nancy couldn’t really go anywhere in her condition. I forgot how far along she is. I might have to ask her when she woke up.

I sighed and shook my head.

What were we doing here? I probably should wake her up and send her to bed. I started to reach over to her but stopped. That didn’t feel right. She looked so peaceful next to me. I frowned as I realized what I was thinking. What was this? But… It felt kind of nice.

I looked up when I heard tiny footsteps running up to the doorway. Ava stood, yawning and rubbing her little eyes.

“Can’t sleep?” I asked. The little girl shook her head. I held out my hand.

“Come here,” I said. Ava walked over in a slow drag. She could barely keep her eyes open. This should be fine. Her mother was right next to me. I held out my arms to Ava. She crawled into my lap. This felt strange to have someone else’s kid sitting on your lap with their head to your chest. Um… Now what?

That was another thing.

I am no good with kids. I tried to stay away from Ava in the beginning. She stayed by her mother until she met Marshmallow. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself. They looked so cute in a weird way. Sometimes, I wonder if every day could be like this. I could watch Ava play with the dog all day.

Now that I think about it, these weeks felt kind of surreal. I don’t want to say it, but it feels like I have a family now. Before, I never wanted this. I thought I was going to be alone in this town until I died. I thought the world forgot about me. But now…

I looked down as Nancy started to wake up.

Oh.

“Sorry about that.” She sat up and rubbed her eyes. I shrugged and shook my head.

“It’s fine,” I said. Nancy looked over at my lap. I glanced down at Ava in my lap.

“Oh, she couldn’t sleep,” I said. “My bad.” Nancy shook her head.

“No, no,” she said. “It’s okay. We sat there, saying nothing. This was…

It was quiet in the living room. Quiet except for the clock in the kitchen. The only light on in the living room was the red lamp on the end table.

“You okay?” I asked. Nancy narrowed her eyes.

“Why do you ask?” she asked. I shrugged and shook my head.

“I don’t know. Just felt like it,” I said. I really didn’t know why I asked that. It wasn’t like we were getting close or anything. Were we?

“Fine.”

“What?”

“Fine, I’m fine.”

It took a moment to register what she said. “Oh. Okay.” I nodded as I said that. Okay, this was getting awkward.

“Um… Are you going to bed soon or anything?” I asked.

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Are you?”

“No,” I said. I shifted in place. Do I have a child or a sack of potatoes sitting on my lap? It didn’t help that her bum was mostly bony.

“I think I should put her to bed,” I said, nodding my head over to Ava as she was slowly closing her eyes. I paused for a moment. “If… that’s okay with you.”

“I don’t mind,” Nancy said. This threw me for a loop.

“Sure,” I said. “Sure.” I reached out and scooped Ava into my arms. I turned and looked at her mother. Maybe some part of me wanted some sort of approval. Nancy stared at me but said nothing. Right…

I paced myself before I got off of the couch with the kid in my arms.

“I’ll be right back,” I said. I walked out of the living room and made it to the stairs.

The trick was doing this all quietly. I looked down at Ava in my arms. The kid was already going to sleep. Good, good. The stairs were going to be the hardest part. I didn’t remember which one creaked. Despite that, I knew that I was going to have to take the chance. I took in a breath.

Alright.

I began the ascent up the stairs. I kept my eyes on the way up and the child with each step. The stairway wasn’t that long but when you are carrying a sleeping child in your arms while trying not to wake them up the whole trip, it feels so much longer. There was a close call when I thought I stepped on that creaky step. I stopped and held my breath when I was halfway up the stairs. Relief washed over me when I looked down to see Ava still asleep.

Oh good.

I made it up the stairs without a problem. From there, it all became easier. I put Ava in her bed and walked back down the stairs. I’m not sure why, but I couldn’t stop smiling as I walked down the stairs. Could every evening be like this? It would be nice if it could.