Class Act

Today, Chester Rowe was moving into a new town to start his teaching career. For nine years, he dreamed of this moment. When it finally came, he thought that he was living in a dream. His ideal location? Chester always dreamed of teaching near the beach. His train pulled into the seaside town of Blue Hill, Maine. Chester breathed in the salty sea air as he took a look around. The train station seemed to have woken up for the morning. He pulled out the address of the school that he would start teaching.

But first, he would have to make a phone call or two.

Chester pulled out his cell phone. So far, he received no bars where he stood. He frowned and tilted his head. Huh? I got perfect reception when I was on the train. The new teacher stared at the screen. He promised his mother that he would call her as soon as he reached the station. If Chester didn’t get a signal soon and call back, his mother would leave him about six hundred calls in his voice mail asking if he was still alive or not. Better get this over with so that he can’t be late for work.

Chester began moving around, looking for a spot to get a signal. He probably drew strange looks from the crowd with his cell phone held up in the air. The new teacher himself focused on finding the perfect spot. His heart jumped when he received four bars in the right-hand corner.

Yes!

Chester went to his contacts and scrolled through the short list. One press of a button and he waited.

“Hello?” an old lady’s voice asked on the other side.

“Hi mom,” Chester said. “I finally made it.”

“That’s great, honey!” his mother said.

“I got here safely too.”

“I am so happy!”

“How are things at home?”

“It’s quiet around. Doris finally found her cat. Judy’s son is going to get married next week.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Chester looked around for a clock in the train station. Five minutes to seven. He bit on his lower lip. Something told him that his mother was about to go into a long story about herself and the neighbors.

“Uh… Look, mom. I have to get off. I don’t want to be late for work,” he said.

“Okay, but I have to tell you this funny story about Nora and her cats,” his mother said.

“Can I call you back? I have to go.”

“It won’t take too long.”

“Goodbye, mom.”

“But, honey…”

“Goodbye, mom!” Chester hung up before she could say anymore. He took a deep breath and shook his head. Right… The new teacher shifted his shoulders and took a breath before heading down to the school.

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Just before eight, Chester arrived at the local grade school. The building didn’t look as big as he pictured it, but he didn’t care. This was a good place to start for his career. The new teacher stuck out his chest.

“Here’s to my first day as a teacher!” he said. Chester marched into the school like a proud soldier. One stop to the principal’s office might be a call back to reality, however. The principal raised her eyebrow as she read the information that came up on the computer.

“You’re going to be teaching classroom 208, huh?” she asked.

“That’s right,” the eager teacher said. The principal whistled and shook her head as she closed out of the personnel file.

“I wish you luck,” she said. Chester gave her a puzzled look.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Nothing,” the blonde-haired woman said. “I wish you luck.” The new teacher still didn’t catch what she was insinuating as he took the map from her hand. The first graders in that room can’t be too bad, can they?

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Chester stood outside of classroom 208. The door was open and the students were already at their desks. The assistant teacher sat at her desk across the room. Chester sighed in relief. They didn’t look too bad. I can do this! It’ll be easy!

But then, he stepped into the classroom.

All eyes fell on him. The students looked puzzled while the assistant teacher’s eyes said, “Get out now!” However, the new teacher kept up his positive attitude as he walked over to the black board.

“Good morning, class!” Chester greeted the children. “My name is Mr. Rowe and I will be your new teacher.” Nobody said a word as he wrote his name down on the board. He turned around with a smile on his face.

“Let’s all do our best this year and get alone well,” Chester said. “Any questions?” The children all raised their hands. The poor teacher walked into their trap.

“Yes,” Chester said after he spotted a red-headed boy on the front room. The child lowered his hand.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” he asked.

“No,” Chester said. “I’m more focused on being a teacher right now.” A little girl with blonde pigtails raised her hand.

“Are you married?” she asked.

“No, I lived with my mother until today,” the teacher replied. The students gave him a puzzled look.

“You still live with your mom?” a little black boy asked.

“Not anymore,” the new teacher said. The assistant teacher shook her head as she rubbed her forehead. She could already see where this was headed.

The questions didn’t stop coming either.

“How old are you?”

“Do you have a dog?”

“Are you gay?”

“How old is your mommy?”

“Where’s your daddy?”

“How much do you weigh?”

“Do you poop?”

“Do you dye your hair?”

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“What kind of girl do you like?”

“Will you marry my sister?”

“Can I eat you?”

Poor Chester sank back in his chair with a nervous laugh. He didn’t even get to laying out the class schedule yet. And he would have to deal with this all year too? The teacher assistant lowered her head and sighed.