Chapter Ten: Mother’s Loss:

By summer of his junior year, Atticus’ mother died. His grandmother woke him up one morning to share the bad news.

“Atticus-kun,” she said. “Wake up. I have to tell you something.” The boy’s eyes fluttered open.

“Hm? What is it?” he asked. Atticus noticed the somber look on his grandmother’s face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. The old lady dropped her shoulders.

“It’s your mother,” she said. “There was a train accident. And… And… Your mother… She’s… She’s…”

“What happened to her?” Atticus asked. His grandmother trembled.

“She passed away,” she said at last. Atticus froze.

“Oh…” he said.

“I’m so sorry,” his grandmother said. She hugged Atticus. The old lady broke down crying. Atticus felt numb.

They were never close. His mother didn’t want him. But, she was still his mother.

“It’s so strange,” Atticus said. “I don’t feel anything.” His grandmother looked down at him. His eyes focused on her.

“I wasn’t close to her,” he said. “She didn’t seem to love me either.”

“I understand,” his grandmother said. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” The boy felt so weird being held like the one grieving. But he felt nothing.

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“Are you okay?” Aoi asked. She rubbed on his back. Atticus looked up at her.

“Fine,” he said. “It’s so weird.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked. Atticus shrugged his shoulders.

“She was my mom,” he said.

“But she neglected you,” Aoi said. Her boyfriend nodded.

“Yes. But she was still my mother. I will never get another. Do you see what I mean?”

Aoi kissed him on the cheek. “I do, I guess.”

“We were never that close. She never even wanted me.”

“That is terrible.” Aoi pulled him to her chest. Atticus rested his hand on hers.

“If it wasn’t for grandam, Kelly-san, and you, I would’ve been on the streets or dead.” The summer day felt so quiet around them. Atticus sighed and dropped his shoulders. His mind played back all of the times that she left him alone. His mother barely left him any food to eat. They lived like strangers. His mother never gave him any love. She didn’t even protest when Child Protective Services. No calls, no e-mails, or no letters. The last time Atticus saw his mother was the day they took him from her.

“Are you going to the funeral?” Aoi asked. Atticus shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Grandma says that I should.”

“Do you want to?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he said again. Atticus turned and kissed her on the lips. Aoi didn’t push him off. He pulled away with a dazed look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Aoi shook her head.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I don’t mind.” He took her by the hands.

“Aoi-chan… Please… Don’t ever leave me,” the boy pleaded.

“I won’t,” she said. Atticus pulled her into his arms.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” Aoi murmured.

“I love you too,” Atticus said back, you not letting go.