F*****G Posers:

Rosie! Rosie! Rosie! Rosie, this! Rosie, that! Rosie, Rosie, Rosie! It�s always about flipping Rosie! What the hell is so great about her?!? She gets everything! I get nothing! It�s just not fair! Grrr! I�m supposed to be the star here, not her! How the hell did this disaster happen? I used to be the star and favorite here. Man, I had it all then! Loving boyfriend, rising career as a journalist, and great friends. I used to be care-free and happy then too. I knew I was much more of a wild child then too. (Everyone keeps reminding me of the �good old days.� I hate when they do that! It makes me want to scream and kill them so badly! Argh!) My boyfriend, Mark, treated me like a princess too. We were the perfect couple. Mark and I lived together happily in a fancy apartment. We were even thinking about getting married soon. (He bought the ring and everything!) Life was great. But then, disaster struck!

It happened in 2000. Mark and I were planning a night out together. He and I were arriving at the restaurant separately. I got dressed in my best sexy casual clothes and waited for Mark at the most romantic restaurant in Miami. I waited most of the evening for him. At first, it was nothing at all. I knew that Mark worked late. I thought it was one of those night, so it was no big deal. But after a couple of hours, I began to get worried. I called Mark�s cell phone to see if he was alright, but I got no answer. A thousand thoughts went through my mind about what could have happened to him. After a couple more hours of waiting, Mark finally showed with a snobby girl dressed in a business suit on his arm. I was really confused now.

�Mark, sweetie,� I said to him. �What is the deal? Who is your friend here?� Then, he delivered the painful bombshell. Mark walked over from the hussy to me and lightly held my hand. The look in his eyes told me that something bad was coming. I could feel it in my soul.

�Baby,� Mark said to me. �I think we should break up.� I couldn�t believe what he was saying at first. I thought it was just a bad joke.

�What?� I asked him.

�I�m leaving you,� he said. �I�ve fallen in love with someone else.� It took a long while to sink in. When it did, my eyes welled up with tears.

�B-But why?!?� I wailed out. Mark tried to shush me to explain.

�I fallen in love with someone else,� he said softly. �I�m so sorry, Mandy. It just wouldn�t have worked between us in the long run. I�m so sorry to hurt you like this!�

�But you were going to purpose to me and we were getting married!� she wailed out.

�I know,� my now ex-boyfriend told me. �And I�m sorry.� I was completely crying now. I ran out of the restaurant heartbroken. The next day, Mark came and got his belongings to move in with his new snobby girlfriend. I felt really alone and empty with a half-empty apartment. My friends tried to help me recover, but it wasn�t enough. I was just trapped in the dumped blues. After three days of sorrow, I decided to change. I soon became what I am today. Apparently this was a mistake, but I didn�t care. I just wanted to make myself better in a sense so that I don�t experience that same defeat of losing Mark again. But this plan isn�t really working like I wanted to. At first, everyone tried to have sympathy for me, but I turned them away. In the end, everyone just stopped caring and found me annoying. I am really hurt by this change. But I pretend not to care at all and keep on with the new me because that�s all I know now. However, there was more pain to my baggage.

Three years ago, Rose and Duncan came along to Beach Radio Magazine fresh out of college. Vanessa, who hates me I swear, took Rose under her wing and bred her to business. Now, Ms. Delany *loves* Rose. That�s all everyone here talks about. She�s not that great! But yet, Rosie manages to have it all! The top job here, everyone�s morale support, the body, the looks, the charm, the brains. She�s everything I wish I could be again. And now, she�s got Pete Wentz possibly wanting to do her! And what do I get? Nothing! Nothing but a half-empty apartment, my business suits, and the back of the stage. It�s just not fair! Argh! Why does everything bad happen to me?!?

�Is there a problem, Amanda?� a voice asks me from above. I look up to see Ms. Delany looking down at me at my computer. I noticed the look on her face. It was half-concern and half-annoyed. I looked at her slightly startled. �Quick!� I thought. �You can�t let her see that you are truly unhappy! Put on your professional face!� I do so quickly and straighten myself up emotionally.

�No,� I said quickly. �Nothing is wrong at all!� I look at the boss� face. She didn�t seem to believe me at all. That�s the creepy thing about Ms. Delany. If you tell her a lie, you can�t tell if she believes you or not. Her face just reminds the same. I sat there hoping she would believe me. The moment was tense. I was sweating lightly in my mind.

�Just stay focused on your work, okay?� she replied. I nodded in a fake calm. Then, Ms. Delany just walked away. I breathed out surprise and relief. Oh wow! She believed me. She actually believed me! Ms. Delany actually believed me! I just can�t believe it! I smiled as I lightly shook my head. But then, the sorrow set back in and I sighed. I hate my life�