Chapter Forty-Seven: Goodbye Violet:

She and I don’t have much to say anymore. I walked her to the bus station this morning. We didn’t talk for the first twenty minutes. I kept looking over at her. She kept her eyes forward and her lips fixed together. I couldn’t even bring myself to touch her. However, this didn’t feel over at all. Somebody just had to say something. I could tell that she was itching to say something as much as I was. The question was who was going to be the first one to break the silence?

“You didn’t have to do this, you know?” Raccoon said at last. I shrugged at her.

“Just felt like it,” I lied.

“Hm,” she responded. Raccoon turned and looked at the traffic passing by. Okay, not the exchanged that I thought about. It is something at least. We made it to the bus station before ten. Not a single word was spoken between us. She still wouldn’t make eye contact with me. This would possibly be the last time that we’ll be able to see each other for a long time. We should be talking before it’s over.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?” Violet asked me. I looked up when she asked me that.

“Ask you what?” I asked.

“If I’m sure about this or not?” she asked. I shrugged at her.

“That’s your choice,” I said.

“But aren’t you the tiniest bit concerned?” she asked.

“A little,” I admitted.

“Then say it already,” Raccoon insisted, “I’ll feel better about this if you do.”

“Fine, fine,” I said. “Are you sure about this?” She rested her hands on her knees as she took a breath.

“Yes,” she admitted, “I thought about what you said and I want to move on.”

“And you sure you want to do this?” I asked.

“Yes!” Violet insisted. I put up my hands at her.

“Okay, okay,” I said, “You’re moving on, that’s good.”

“Thank you,” she said back. I turned and looked out on the empty road.

“Montana, huh?” I asked, “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding, “I have family there.”

“May I ask who?” I questioned her with a puzzled look on my face.

“My grandfather,” Raccoon answered.

“Your grandfather,” I repeated, “What will you be doing there?” Violet leaned back on the bench and looked up at the bus stop cover.

“Look for work that’s not prostitution,” she said, “My grandfather runs this horse shop in a small town near his ranch.”

“That actually sounds kind of nice,” I said. Violet nodded as she finally turned to me.

“And what about you?” she asked. I blinked when she asked me that.

“Me?” I asked.

“Yes,” Violet said back, “What do you plan to do when you go to France.”

“Oh,” I said, leaning back, “Writing porn and living in the countryside.” For the first time since I dumped her, she smiled.

“That sounds rather nice,” she said.

“Yeah,” I said nodding, “You can say that.” Violet looked out on the empty road.

“Wow, we really won’t get to see each other again,” she said, “It’s been fun with you.”

“Hey now,” I said, “Don’t be getting all attached to me again. I thought you moved on.”

“I have!” Violet told me half-sternly, “I have moved on and will keep doing so until I have put myself back together.”

“That’s my girl,” I said with a smirk. I reached into my coat and pulled out a fresh cigarette. I was about to light when something caught my eye in the distance.

“Well, it’s time for you to go and do that,” I told her.

“Huh?” Raccoon asked as she looked down the road. The Grey Hound bus pulled up to the stop. Violet gathered up her luggage and rose to her feet. Something inside of me felt so hollow as the boys loaded her suitcases in the carrier. Come on, idiot! Say one more thing or you’ll never see her again after this! Say it!

“Violet, wait!” I shouted. Raccoon paused before getting on the bus and turned to me.

“What is it, Michael?” she asked. I didn’t know what to say at first. I probably shouldn’t have called out to her like that. It would’ve been better if I had just let her go.

“Good luck out there,” I said at last, “Be careful… and… and…”

“Goodbye?” Violet asked. I nodded quickly as I tried to stop myself.

“Yes!” I blurted out, “Goodbye!” She rushed over to me and gave me a big hug.

“Goodbye, Michael,” Raccoon whispered in my ear, “I will never forget you.” My hands slowly reached up to hug her back. We stayed like that for twenty seconds before she let go of me and boarded the bus. As I watched that old Greyhound pull away, that empty feeling settled in my heart again. I knew that it wouldn’t last long, but it still stung.

Goodbye Violet Thompson, may you find happiness in Montana.