Chapter
Twenty-Seven: Dr. Sherman:
The next day, I
ended up in therapy. This was all Mama’s idea, really.
“You’re too old
to be acting like this!” she complained. “It’s just embarrassing!” Grandma
didn’t say anything.
“I don’t think
that is going to help her, Henry said in a hushed tone. “A therapist will not be
enough to stop Miranda. She’s not some mental illness that can be cured.”
“Miranda is not
real!” Mama shouted. “Stop encouraging her! I am going to put an end to this
right now!” I didn’t argue. I just wanted it all to stop before someone else got
hurt. My first session began when school got out for summer. I sat in Dr.
Sherman’s office, silent and waiting. I remembered him so well. He looked to be
about forty years old. I think he smoked because he smelt like cigarettes and
chestnuts. The black dye in his hair didn’t look normal at all. He sounded so
effeminate when he spoke. His hands looked so rough. Dr. Sherman always wore
sweaters and jeans, even in the summertime. I didn’t know what to make of him
during the first session.
“Good morning,
Kinsey,” he said on the couch. I wouldn’t make eye contact.
“Good morning,”
I muttered.
“How are you
today? It is okay to be honest with me. You are safe in here.”
I didn’t really
believe him. “Okay…”
“How are you
today?”
“A bit nervous,
really.”
“That is
understandable.”
I didn’t think
it was. Dr. Sherman pulled out his notebook and started taking down notes. I
looked down at the papers on his desk.
“What is that?”
I asked.
“These are just
some notes that I take for some of my patients,” he said.
“Notes?”
“Yes. It will
help me help you.”
“Okay…”
“Is that a
problem?”
I quickly shook
my head. “No, it’s fine.”
“Right on. Tell
me a little bit about yourself if you don’t mind. Oh, wait. Hang on a minute.”
Dr. Sherman reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a tape recorder. I
raised an eyebrow.
“What is that
for?” I asked.
“Do you mind if
I record our session?” he asked. “I can hit stop any time that you want.” I drew
my knees to my chest. Dr. Sherman gave me a concerned look.
“Too much?” he
asked. I nodded once. He gave me a small shrug.
“That’s fair
enough,” Dr. Sherman said. He shoved the tape recorder back into the drawer and
picked up his pen.
“Tell me about
yourself,” he repeated.
“Okay…” I said.
“I am thirteen years old with no siblings. I just live with Grandma, Mama, Ms.
Doris, Henry, and Miranda.”
“Who are Ms.
Doris, Henry, and Miranda?”
“Oh, Ms. Doris
works around our house. Henry just lives with us. And Miranda is… just a
friend.”
“Tell more about
Miranda. What is she like?”
I bit on my
lower lips as I drew my knees to my chest. “She used to be really nice. We would
play together. She didn’t try to harm Addie.”
“Who is Addie?”
“She another
friend of mine. I met her on when I started school years ago.” The ticking clock
in the background made my spine crawl.
“I see,” Dr.
Sherman said. “Tell me more about Miranda. You said she used to be nice. What
happened? What made her change?” Here it was. This was the question that I
feared.
“I don’t know,”
I admitted. “She got mad when I was talking to this guy from my school. He used
to be a jerk. But lately, he seems nice. And kind of cute.” My cheeks turned a
light pink before I looked up at Dr. Sherman writing in his notes. He hadn’t
spoken in minutes. Did he really believe me? Did he think that I was crazy?
“What do you
think so far?” I asked.
“I don’t really
know yet,” Dr. Sherman admitted. “We just met and I am just letting you talk.”
His words did little to assure me.
“Right…” I said.
My eyes moved up to the ceiling.
“Do you believe
in monsters?” I asked. I wrote Dr. Sherman stop writing in his notes.
“I’m sorry?” he
asked. I shook my head and rested my feet down onto the carpet.
“Not really,” he
said. “But that would depend on what monster you are talking about.” I narrowed
my eyes.
“What are you
talking about?” I asked.
“Well, there are
the imaginary monsters and then the human monsters,” Dr. Sherman said. “Which
one do you think Miranda is?”
“I… I don’t know,” I said. I did know but I couldn’t put it into words then. I still can’t put it into words now. All I knew looking back was I was starting to see the real Miranda. That conversation with Dr. Sherman brought out the violence in her.