Chapter Seven:
The Outsider:
I have always
stood out. I don’t mean to, it just happens. Miss Caroline tried to make me feel
welcome. I couldn’t tell what she was really thinking most of the time. Was she
smiling because she liked me or because she had to? I stood there, blinking.
“Hi…” I said.
“Let’s have a
good day together, shall we?” she asked. She pushed me along into the brightly
colored classroom. I looked over my shoulder to see Miranda staring at me. She
had no expression on her face. I kept my eyes to my feet. The walls were covered
in children’s drawings. There was an ABC puzzle rug near the chalkboard. A
podium stood off to one side of the classroom. The teacher’s desk and a TV sat
on the other side. Twenty-three desks sat around the room. I took my seat near
the back. Miranda sat between me. To my left sat a little boy with bright blonde
messy hair. To my right was a little girl with black pigtails. I didn’t know who
I wanted to talk to first. Still, part of me said that I shouldn’t at all. The
black girl stared at me and waved.
“Hi,” she
whispered. I glanced up at her.
“Hi…” I said.
“I’m Addie,” the
girl said. “What’s your name?”
“Kinsey,” I
said. Miranda sat quietly behind me. Addie smiled.
“Nice to meet
you,” she said. I pressed my lips together and nodded. She tilted her head.
“Are you okay?”
she asked.
“Not really,” I
said. “I’m not used to people.”
“Huh?” Addie
asked. I shook my head. She was the only one outside of the family back then who
wasn’t scared off by Miranda or me. That’s probably why Addie was still alive to
this day. Mis Caroline walked up to the front.
“Good morning,
class,” she said.
“Good morning,”
the students said. Miss Caroline turned to the board and written down her name.
“My name is Miss
Caroline,” she said. “I will be your teacher this year. Let us all go around and
introduce ourselves and something interesting about us. I will start first. My
name is Miss Caroline and I love to draw.” I barely remember much of that first
day. The students all stood up and introduced themselves. I don’t even remember
half of their names. Something interesting about me, huh? I didn’t know where to
start.
Then it came my
turn. I stood up.
“My name is
Kinsey Moss and I have a special friend named Miranda,” I said. Everyone stared
at me. Miss Caroline didn’t speak at first.
“Is that all?”
she asked.
“No,” I said.
“There are other things too.” My eyes shifted back and forth as the class stared
at me.
“I live near the
swamp,” I said. “My mama parties and is in a band. There are a lot people around
our house.” There was so much more I wanted to say, but it wouldn’t come out.
The many eyes on me didn’t help either. I’ve never had to do this before. Even
with the parties at the house, I either stayed in my room or hid behind grandma
when I had to interact with people. I just wanted to sit down now. I think the
teacher got the gist.
“Okay,” Miss
Caroline said. “Who’s next?” I sat down as Addie stood up.
“My name is
Addie and my daddy owns a pig farm,” she said.
“I see,” the
teacher said. “Who’s next?” Addie sat down and the next kid stood up and talked.
I don’t know why I do that to myself. When I open my mouth, I end up isolating
myself further. That’s probably why I didn’t speak so much. Miranda was the only
one who could get me to talk at all. I thought that I was going to be an
outsider at school too. I happened to turn to my right and see Addie smiling at
me.
“What is it?” I
asked.
“Is your house
Victoria Manor?” she whispered.
“Yes…” I said.
“I’ve heard of
that place,” Addie said. “Is it true that it’s haunted?”
“Haunted? I
don’t know…” I said.
“I like scary things,” she said. I stared at her, blinking. Just like that, Addie latched herself onto me. Miranda didn’t seem to mind it in the beginning. At the time, I didn’t know how to deal with it. That day, the struggle between protecting everyone I cared about by avoiding them and wanting to reach out for help began.