Chapter Thirty: Second Therapy Session:

I had another therapy session that afternoon. I sat on that couch when Dr. Sherman pulled out of his pen and notepad.

“Tell me more about Miranda,” he said. I hate this part.

“Don’t we have to talk about her?” I asked.

“We have to it we want to find the cause of your problems,” he said. I frowned and shook my head. He couldn’t help me. Miranda will just end up hurting him too just like Mama. I drew my knees to my chest.

“She just scares me,” I said.

“Was she always like this?” Dr. Sherman asked. I shook my head.

“What made her change?”

“I don’t know.”

“When do you think it happened?”

“A couple of years ago.”

“What happened then?”

“I don’t really remember.” That time in my memory felt so distant. Did he have to try and make me bring it back up?

“What do you remember?”

I sighed. “Joe and Addie in my life.”

“So Miranda got jealous?”

“I guess.” I tried to ignore that damned clock in the background. Please stop asking questions. Please stop asking questions! Dr. Sherman took more notes.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” I asked.

“Excuse me?” he asked. He didn’t even look up at me. I frowned.

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” I asked. “You think I am making all of this up.” Dr. Sherman stopped writing in his notepad.

“I will believe what you want me to believe,” he said. That’s not what I needed to hear. I wanted to him to believe me. Mama was finally starting to. I couldn’t tell Addie and Joe yet. I was finally starting not to feel so lonely anymore.

“But do you?” I asked.

“I will if you want me to,” Dr. Sherman said. I looked at him with desperation in his eyes. He set down his pen.

“I am curious about something, though,” he said. “What exactly is Miranda?” I froze.

“I… I don’t know. I never thought about that,” I said. I shivered as I saw the way that he was looking at me. Please don’t look at me like that.

“Are any of your family members available to talk with next week?” he asked.

“I think Grandma is,” I said.

“Good, good,” Dr. Sherman said. “I would like to speak with them during our next session. Is that okay with you?” I lowered my eyes.

“Yes,” I muttered. What choice did I have? He was going to talk to them anyway. I rested my feet on the ground.

“It’s okay if you don’t want me to,” Dr. Sherman said.

“No, no, no,” I said. “It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Do you want to take a break?”

I slowly nodded. Dr. Sherman closed up his notes.

“Alright,” he said. “We’ll take five and come back when you feel better. Sound good to you?” I wasn’t going to feel any better. I could’ve just got up and left. Left and never came back. There no point to me being here anyway.

I looked down at my feet, nodding.

“Great,” Dr. Sherman said. “You know where the venting machine and bathrooms are. Don’t stay gone too long, okay?” I nodded before I slid off the couch. I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked out the door. It could be so easy to walk away. I could just walk out of the building and never come back. He was probably going to write more notes about me. I could feel it.