Chapter Twelve: Tony:

We have to cross fourteen mental miles to get the bride back. What am I talking about? As you have read last time, she was last seen in Kabukicho. This is where the mental miles come in. Stay with me here. This will take all of my breath to explain.

Kabukicho has so many… distractions. There is a red light district. Yeah. The mental miles are a real test here. We have guys looking for the bride. That’s right I said it, guys. A couple are gay, but most of them are straight. Oh buddy! Most of them have wives and girlfriends, but they also have a wandering eye from time to time. That’s where the problems come in.

Right from jump, this mission became a headache. The guys’ ears perked up when they heard that. The saner ones had to attempt to calm them down.

“This is not a field trip!” my wife, Polly, shouted. “We have to find ******* and drag her back to the wedding hall!” The guys cleared their throats and agreed.

“Right,” they said. “We will focus on the mission.” Yeah… Somehow, I have my doubts about that one. Funny how more people are interested in bringing ******* back for the wedding now that they learned that she could be in Kabukicho. I had to weed out the ones that just wanted to go down to the red light district. (Nice try you little perverts! We all know what you really want.) Even with the team that my side assembled, there are still those fourteen mental miles to cross. What exactly are those? Keep up if you are smart.

My party arrived in Kabukicho around three o’clock. So far, everything seemed normal. I have about four or five guys with me and no one’s getting side-tracked—yet. I didn’t count on that being the case for very long.

“Okay everybody,” I said. “We will split up and cover more ground on looking for *******.” Not a good idea. Why did I even say that? I didn’t stop as I divided everyone up. In the back of my mind, I screamed at myself, “What are you doing?! You know they won’t focus! Stop!” In the end, we broke apart. I kept on my phone just in case. Little good that would do.

As soon as we broke off, the struggle through those fourteen miles began.

Let me ask you something, do hookers just magically appear when they hear that there are men in the area? That seemed to have happened today. Already, I got hit on three of them dressed in schoolgirl uniforms. I had to properly turn them down. Sorry ladies, I am happily married. The groups from my party?

Yeah… They didn’t even get past the first mile. Come on guys, get it together. You have no time to be screwing around like this. We have until sundown to get this wedding on track. I tried calling them, but no one picks up. That alone told me that I should get them back together and redirect their attention to the mission at hand. I shoved move hookers off of my body and walked in the directions that I sent everyone. Those ladies with me didn’t seem to take a hint.

I spent most of the first mile looking for everyone. Needless to say, it was more of a headache tracking those guys down than looking for *******. Sadly, my words alone aren’t enough to display what happened next leading up to the next day. For that, I must let those guys explain what happened.

All I can say is that those fourteen mental miles will take a lot if we want to get that stop wedding off the ground.