80% Chance of Rain:

1985 brought on a string of problems in my life. They began back in January in semester had started then. By then, I had easier classes. Your grandfather and I had gotten closer as well. Daddy and I just stopped talking by this point. Momma, oh poor momma. She was just stuck between us both. I didn�t see her stress at the time. I had my own problems.

Shortly after my classes began, I started to feel sick. Like a queasiness in my stomach. At first I thought it was nerves. When it didn�t die down, I feared that I had caught some stomach bug. My fears were confirmed when I started throwing up every thirty minutes. I finally couldn�t take it anymore and went to the nurse�s office. I described my symptoms to her. She only smiled and took me by the hand.

�Honey,� she said. �You�re pregnant.� I gave her a strange look.

�What?� I asked.

�You are pregnant,� she repeated. My eyes widened.

�I can�t be��

�But you are.�

�For how long?�

�Three weeks.�

I lowered my head. I found myself at a loss here. Freshman in college and pregnant already? This couldn�t be. I wasn�t ready for kids yet. Your grandfather and I weren�t even married then. I wondered how this could happen.

I had to tell him.

I just dreaded the wait until I met up with him again. During that semester, we had different schedules during the day. He also had a night class on Thursdays. I learned that I was pregnant on a Thursday afternoon. Knowing that made things even worse. Cell phones and e-mail didn�t exist in 1985. I couldn�t contact your grandfather right away. I tried to keep myself busy until that evening. I felt my stomach turn just thinking about it. My head swam with how I would tell your grandfather. How would he take it? Did he even want children? We hadn�t really planned that far ahead. We just kind of lived in the moment.

I sighed.

You could say that we ended up paying for it then and there. I couldn�t even focus in my clubs. I didn�t feel like going in the first place. In the end, I headed for my dorm.

By nine o�clock in the garden for your grandfather to come out from class. I stood under the bug-net lights so that he would see me. I watched as the people left the building. I kept my eyes out for him the whole time. Finally, he walked out with a couple of his friends. I flagged him down to get his attention. After a few seconds, he finally noticed me. I paced around as he excused himself from his friends and walked over to me. I gulped as I took a step forward. He greeted me with a puzzled face.

�Star?� he asked. �What are you doing here? What�s wrong?� I bit on my lower lip.

�Well?� Jim asked. �What is it? Speak woman! I would like to get out of this cold.�

�I�m pregnant,� I told him without thinking. Jim froze as he stared at me.

�What?� he asked. I pressed my lips together before speaking again.

�I�m pregnant,� I repeated. �By three weeks.� He looked me in the eye, lost.

�How? When?� he asked.

�New Year�s Eve in Texas,� I replied. �Did we even use��

�I don�t remember!�

�Oh��

Your grandfather looked down at his feet. �Damn,� he mumbled. �Shit.� He looked over at me.

�What do you want to do?� he asked. I gave him a blank stare.

�Me?� I asked.

�Yeah, it�s your body, isn�t it?� he asked. �I�ll support you no matter what.�

�Oh,� I mumbled as I looked down at my feet. He kept making things difficult for me from there on out.

1985