Keeping Calm


It’s been like this for a few days now. I have been doing my best to keep it together. At least, Ben and Kele aren’t acting stupid like they normally do. I think they have too much on their mind to do anything. Everything here feels so tense. I don’t like it.

I looked out the window. It’s raining again. I am getting sick of the rain.

“Doesn’t it ever let up?” I asked. I saw Robin’s reflection in the window. I glanced over my shoulder with no emotion on my face.

“Oh,” I said.

“You look sad,” she said. I shook my head.

“I’m not sad, just bored,” I said.

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Robin asked. She walked over to the window and sat down next to me. I shrugged as my eyes rolled up to the ceiling.

“I suppose so,” I said. I turned back to the window. “I am just trying to keep it together here.”

“Keep it together?” Robin asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. I looked at the rest of people in the room. Most of them look half-asleep. I noticed Masayuki carrying Baby Doll off to the kitchen area of the apartment. She’s been acting weird over the past couple of days. I asked what was wrong, but no one gave me an answer.

“How are you not sick of the rain?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Robin said. I wrinkled my nose at her. Must be nice to live in her little world. She just seemed so easily amused. Even the rain didn’t seem to bother her. How is she not looking for something to do? Okay to be fair, she was walking around the apartment and looking through the closets. (Liz had to get her to stop at one point.)

I reached into my pocket and pulled out iPod. I looked down at it and gave a mental shrug. The sounds that come from it are starting to blend together. It’s only good for helping me sleep now. It just makes me sad. And this is supposed to go on for another day too? I don’t think I can take this. I flopped back onto the floor and groaned.

“You okay?” Robin asked.

“No,” I said. I closed my eyes and put my hand over them. If anybody needs me, I will be off in lala land or wherever Robin goes off in her head. Don’t wait up for me. I probably won’t answer.