Kinue

-Saito-

I wonder how she will be without me.

“Papa? Papa? Papa?”

I jerked my head up. Kinue was staring up at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Were you listening?” she asked.

“Oh…” I said. “No. I’m so sorry. What were you saying?” My angel frowned at me. I rubbed my forehead.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “It’s just…” I sighed. My daughter tilted her head.

“Daddy?” she asked. I can’t tell her. She won’t understand. How do I tell a little girl is dying? I shook my head.

“Never mind,” I said. “I’ll tell you later. Do you want ice cream?” Kinue smiled.

“Yay!” she said. I smiled and patted her on the head.

Misato doesn’t know the truth either. I don’t know how to take it. I don’t think she’ll believe me. I don’t know how to explain it to her either. It hurts my heart.

Number twenty-nine.

I can’t ignore it anymore. I can feel it burning sometimes. I don’t know how long I can keep it from my family. For now, I push it out of my head. It’s my day with Kinue.

I got her a big cone of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“Thank you,” my daughter said. She took a lick.

“Mmm!” Kinue said. I got myself a chocolate ice cream cone. We sat in the park with our ice cream. Kinue ate happily. I smiled as I watched her. So precious.

“How have you been at school?” I asked.

“Good,” she said. “Mmm.” My heart ached as she licked her ice cream. I can’t tell her, but she has to know the truth.

“Sweetie,” I said. She didn’t look up.

“Hm?” she asked. I sighed. It hurt to do this but she has to know.

“Daddy… might not be around for long,” I confessed. My little girl looked up.

“What do you mean?” she asked. She’s only six years old. My Kinue-chan shouldn’t have to learn about death so soon. Her world should be filled with dolls, ponies, tea parties, coloring, ice cream, and other things little girls like. But here we were. I sighed.

“Do you remember the story of the blue butterflies?” I asked. She started to look away.

“Yes,” she mumbled. Her ice cream started to drip.

“Whoa, easy there,” I said. I tilted her hand upwards. Her ice cream cone stood straight. By now, Kinue-chan looked worried. I curse myself. I knew this would happen.