Chapter LIV:

The Civil War only lasted for four years. That was long enough for things to get worse. Maddie and I got closer since that night. I didn’t know what to do. Couldn’t she see she signed herself to ruin? I couldn’t push her away now.

“What are you going to do after the war is over?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. Her voice sounded so hollow. The light in her eyes was dead. I knew it was because of me. How do I end it with her? What do we even have? I didn’t think it was love. Love. I don’t know what that is anymore. I hadn’t had a use for it in years. I have grown used to it by now.

I digress.

Maddie would stay by my side. We didn’t talk much. The siblings who were still remaining started asking questions.

“Are you two together?” a little girl asked. I think her name was Emma. All I remember was her bright blue eyes.

“Uh… I don’t really know,” I admitted.

“Are you going to marry her?” a little black boy asked. I shook my head.

“I don’t think I will,” I said. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Luna probably wouldn’t let us. Maddie was also half-black. It would be a huge scandal in the South. I had to get them away from me before it got worse. But how do you turn someone away when they need you the most?

Maddie didn’t get out much anymore. She was just going through the motions. I don’t know how I can help her.

You can’t.

That voice. I gritted my teeth. She caused all of this. She killed my family and drove me from my home. I don’t know what she wants from me. I have given up on asking what she wants from me. Luna was never going to tell me. Still, I have to try and get rid of her. Two years into this war and things kept getting tense. I knew that something was going to have to give.

For now, I was going to have to focus on Maddie. I don’t know how I can help, but I have to keep her from getting closer to me. But she still needs me. It would be cruel to turn her away. But I would end up dragging her down all the same.

I didn’t know what to do.

That’s when we found the body in the swamp. From there, everything sped down the hill into a crash.