Chapter Eleven: Out on the Open Water:

Night ushered itself in pretty soon. I lied back onto the deck, looking up at the stars. So annoying this is turning out to be. I just wanted a little getaway all by myself, but Sappoto-san just had to come along and complicate things. At least now, I get five seconds to myself in silence.

“Miho-chan,” I heard someone whimper. *Plus-cross on my head* So much for that hope…

“What?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“I can’t sleep,” she whimpered.

“Why not?” I asked. I listened as footsteps shuffled over to my head. I felt her breath on my forehead.

“I keep thinking…” she mumbled.

“What?” I asked. She didn’t speak at first. I tried not to be a bitch for the moment. Anything to get rid of her for some silence. She kept stalling with her words. I feel my patience burning away.

“Spit it out,” I said. “What were you thinking about?”

“My daughter,” she said at last. I sat up with a puzzled look on my face. Sappoto-san looked at me with a trembling lower lip.

“Huh?” I asked. She sat down on her knees before me.

“I didn’t realize it until three months,” Sappoto-san whimpered. “My little girl had hearing problems.” Her brown eyes welled up with big tears. “All of that time, I hit her out of frustration at why she didn’t obey me. It turned out that she couldn’t hear me to begin with.” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Oh,” she whimpered. “I am a bad person.” My annoyance washed into sympathy. I patted her on the back.

“There, there,” I whispered. “That doesn’t make you a bad mother. You just didn’t know any better.”

“But what if she grows up to hate me?” she wailed.

“Do think like that,” I said. “How old is your daughter?”

“Seven,” Sappoto-san whimpered.

“Ah, there’s still some time to fix the bridges,” I said. She gave me a little pout.

“You think so?” she asked. I nodded as if trying to sell her a lie.

“Yeah,” I said. “Just give it some time, okay?” Sappoto-san tried to make herself smile through her tears as she nodded.

“Alright,” she whispered. The big sap ended up sleeping next to me on the deck. I shook my head to myself as I looked up at the sky. What else could I do? She would probably come back crying to me if I sent her to the beds.

But, I can’t blame her for being lonely. I mean, I missed Andi at that moment as well. I haven’t smelt her hair for days now. Even though I share the bed with Sappoto-san, I still feel pretty lonely at nights. I don’t think I could call her out on the water like this. Can I even get bars out on the ocean? I know it would cost me to make calls long distance in other countries.

I shut my eyes tightly. What the hell? I’m escaping right now, not thinking about reality. Right, think about something else. I opened my eyes to the stars in the sky. Looks beautiful tonight. The sounds of the ocean and calmness around us worked like a lullaby. But yet, I tried to fight to stay awake. I don’t want to go to sleep. However, I’m fighting a losing battle here. I ended up shutting my eyes and dozing off. Sappoto-san and I look like two little children sound asleep on a boat sailing further out into sea. God, I can’t stand that woman at times like these.