Pill Confession

Sunday Morning in August.

*Grace*

Such a beautiful face. Jimmy looked so angelic asleep next to me. I kissed him on the tip of his nose. A smile came onto my lips.

Jimmy�, I thought. My heart did a little flutter. Oh, what an amazing night.

I looked and noticed his green-blue eyes twitching open. I felt myself nearly jump. He opened his eyes and smiled.

�Morning,� he whispered. I smiled back at him.

�Good morning,� I whispered back. He kissed me on the cheek. I giggled.

�How was last night?� I asked. Jimmy kissed me on the cheek again.

�More than you think,� he whispered. I giggled again. Then, I remembered.

�Oh, time for my meds,� I mumbled. Jimmy glanced up at me with a blank face.

�Huh?� he asked. I didn�t answer. Instead, I reached under my bed and pulled out a small pink box. I drew out my meds and began to take my first one for the day.

�You don�t have to do that,� Jimmy said as I opened the bottle. I glanced over at him. I nodded at him.

�Yes, I do,� I said. �Six times a day.� He made a face at me.

�Really?� my boyfriend asked. I looked at him. No point in lying, right? I mean everyone knows it.

�You remember dinner last night?� I asked. Jimmy nodded.

�Yeah,� he said. �You and your mother explained everything.�

�Right,� I said. �So you know the reason.� He nodded at first.

�Yeah,� my boyfriend said. �But haven�t you tried to go without your meds.� I shook my head.

�Nah,� I said. �You wouldn�t like me when I�m off them.� He gently put his arm around me.

�I wouldn�t say that,� he whispered. I smiled a bit. Jimmy kept his eyes on me. I nuzzled his neck.

�It�s funny,� I said. �I can�t remember when I wasn�t on medication.� Jimmy made a face at me.

�Say what?� he asked. I nodded.

�I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was seven.�

�Seven?�

�Yeah. It�s a fog to me. I was hyper back then. I could barely stay still in class. I argued with my teachers all of the time and spent many times in the principal�s office.� I giggled a bit.

�You could I was a bad kid. But, I was so sad at times and I didn�t know why. My mother used her psychiatrist connections to get a second opinion.�

�You mean she knew?�

�She had her suspicions. To make a long story short, they ran tests, I became diagnosed, and here I am, living with my psychiatrist mother and taking many pills to keep myself sane.� Silence. There, I said it. Does he still want me? Jimmy held me to his chest and kissed me on the forehead.

�That was sixteen years ago,� he whispered. �You must have enough control over it to get off of your meds.�

�You think so?� I asked.

�What do you think?� my boyfriend asked. I thought about that for a moment. I finally set the bottle down on the nightstand.

�Those are my last pills for the day!� I announced. Jimmy held my hand under the sheets. I gave him a little smile. This should be easy, right?