Chapter Ten: Post Blue:

Jessie calmed down two hours later. Hisoka put her in the bathtub. As Jessie stared out in a daze, the shinigami wandered back to his room. Jessie ran to him because she felt that he could help her. Hisoka sat on his bed. Jessie, he thought. What did you get into now? The shinigami happened to noticed something the room. Hm? What is that? Hisoka walked over to the raised crack in the floor. To his surprise, a baggie of dope sat in the middle of the hidden space. What the…? The shinigami picked up the small bag. From one touch, he saw a wave of negative memories as they flooded his brain.

-Months Earlier-

It felt like a haze, but he couldn’t forget. Many scenes played on a loop in his brain. They were high that night. She initiated the sex in the beginning. Jessie sat on his bed, smirking.

“Come to me, mutt,” she commanded. Hisoka walked over, dazed. She pulled him in for a kiss. He couldn’t remember her taste. Maybe she didn’t have one. What was she really like?

Jessie forced Hisoka onto his back. Already, it strayed down a deviant path. A small part of Hisoka wanted to scream “stop.” He knew why he didn’t, however.

I just want to forget him. Hisoka moaned at the kisses on his bare collarbone. He tried to forget and imagine at the same time. He wanted Tsuzuki to be here. Jessie was just a stand-in. He used her like she used him.

No real love existed between them. In fact, he despised her. More than, he despised himself. She took his whole length into her mouth. It would take one instance. One hot moment to forget it all. Hisoka closed his eyes.


Jessie was good with her mouth. That much he remembered. Sweet enough to take away his pain. It showed when he pulled her hair. Yet, it wasn’t enough. Jessie couldn’t fill the void. Still, he doesn’t turn her away. That part shamed him most.

“Take me!” Hisoka pleaded. “I need you so much!” I need you. I can’t live without you. I love you. Words, that’s all they were. Words empty and hollow as their relationship. Hisoka meant nothing to her. The same worked both ways. The motive kept changing for the shinigami, however. First, he wanted to forget about Tsuzuki. Then, the motive became lust-driven. Soon, Hisoka wanted to just feel something. Now…

I don’t know what I want anymore.

Afterwards, Jessie tried to leave. Hisoka reached for her wrist in a lazy way. His eyes looked so tired and worn out.

“Jessie… Don’t… leave… me…” He sounded so sincere. She sneered as shoved him off.

“Loser,” the demon muttered as she walked away. Hisoka would lay there alone. The next night would be no different.

-Present Day-

Hisoka dropped the baggie on the floor, trembling. All of the color drained from his face. He tried to bury that grim time in the past.

“Hisoka…” Jessie whimpered from the bathroom. Hisoka jerked his head upwards. Before he knew it, the shinigami stood in the bathroom doorway.

“What is it?” he asked. The demon looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Hisoka saw a reflection of his old self in her face. Jessie reached out a frail arm.

“Please… don’t… leave… me…” The sincerity in her voice made it that much more painful.