Choke

Have you ever been choked during sex? I have. This happened about six years ago. I wasn’t with my current boyfriend at the time. This was another guy. He was a big bear of a guy. People thought he looked scary. Some thought he was in a gang. But that boyfriend was a proper gentleman.

Let’s call him Kuma.

Kuma had been dating for a few months. He was kind of awkward at first. I thought it was kind of cute. It had to be me who made the first move. We met at a house party. (Cliched, I know. Just bear with me here.) Now, I didn’t have many friends throughout my life. I did talk to people from time to time. Honestly, I don’t know why I went out to that party. I guess it was because I was bored or whatever.

Anyway, the party was so lame. I thought about going home. There was no reason for me to stay. I could just leave and no one would notice. I had just made up my mind when I spotted him. This lumberjack of a boy didn’t look like he wanted to be there either. Like I said, he looked kind of cute. I decided on a whim to go up and talk to him. So, I marched up to him and said hello.

It took work, but I got him to take me out on a date. That poor boy. Kuma was probably wondering why some random girl was talking to him in the first place. He didn’t complain and I was just happy to not be single anymore. Come to think of it, I had to be the one to plan all of the dates. Kuma didn’t really try. I don’t think that he even knew how to. Still, I stayed with him.

So, we’ve been dating for a few months. The most we had done was kiss, hug, and go on small dates. It was fine in the beginning, but that was about it. I wanted more. It looked like I would have to be the one to lead the way again. Even that didn’t go so easily as it had in the past.

All of my seduction methods weren’t working. Kuma looked so uncomfortable and would freeze up. I frowned when I had my hand down his pants one afternoon.

“Aw, what’s the matter?” I asked. I hoped that he wasn’t gay. Kuma couldn’t look me in the eye. He mumbled something under his breath.

“Hm?” I asked. “What did you say?” Kuma turned his head. What he asked me next threw me off guard.

“Can I choke you during sex?” he asked. I stared at him for a moment. Did I hear him right? I blinked at him.

“I’m sorry…” I said. Kuma dropped his head. He probably wished that he hadn’t said anything. I gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Um… It’s okay. Uh…” I said. Kuma wouldn’t look at me. I turned his head back to me.

“We can try it if you like,” I said. He had a bit of a sheepish look on his face.

“Really?” he asked. I gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

“Uh-hm,” I said. I took Kuma by the hand and led him down to my room.

Like I said before, Kuma was a big man. I wasn’t prepared for him to close his heavy hand around my neck so tightly. It started off normal enough. We were kissing on my bed. We got undressed and started fucking. I admit it was normal, nice and normal. Kuma was being gentle with me. I was lying there, trying to enjoy this. I made the most of it as I looked up at the ceiling. Why was I so worried in the first place?

That’s when he went into action.

His beefy hand closed around my neck. He didn’t hold back either. To say that I was shocked was an understatement. I was not ready for this. I panicked as he choked me. There was nothing in his eyes. The more he choked me, the more he pounded inside of me. For a second there, I thought he was going to kill me.

I was relieved when he let go of my neck as he came in the condom. I couldn’t move after he pulled out and went to sleep beside me. I didn’t move until he quietly left the next day.

Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last long.

Just Breathe