This is Heaven

*Baby Doll*

The white ceiling and bright yellow walls in the bathroom are suffocating. I almost feel like they are crushing on me when I escape to think. Laying in the bathtub helps clear my head. Right now, I�m trying to gather up my thoughts. I remember almost everything about myself. The only thing I can�t really remember is my real name. That one little detail about me has been wiped away from my mind. But yet, I do remember how and when I died.

I was sixteen when I was murdered. I remember that it was October of �05. My body was found the next afternoon I was dumped. In fact, my case still isn�t cold.

As I lay here in the bathtub, more memories flood my head. Ones about my grandmother. I lived with her for most of my life. My parents got divorced when I was only a baby. So, my grandmother took me in. She and I got along really well. I even called her �mama� when I was a child. She treated me like I was her daughter. She raised me to be independent. Mama and I had a good system.

My life wasn�t extraordinary in any way. I used to be a normal teenage girl in Suiten. That was until that night on October �05.

A knock on the door drew me out of my thoughts. I glanced up at the sound.

�Yes?� I asked.

�You done in there, Baby Doll?� one of my housemates asked. I quickly sat up in the tub.

�Yeah,� I said. �I�ll be out in a second.� I rose to my feet and climbed out of the tub. The door knob twisted as I did so.

�It�s locked!� she shouted.

�I said hang on a minute!� I yelled back. I walked over to the door and unlocked it. I waited as it opened wide. An angel close to my age stood on the other side, frowning.

�Hello Izumi,� I said. She shook her head at me.

�I don�t understand,� my close friend said.

�Understand what?� I asked.

�Why do you come in here even when you don�t really need to use the bathroom?� she asked. I only gave her a little shrug.

�I only need to get away to think,� I reasoned. �This spot happens to be the only quietest place to be.�

�Why do you use the other two bathrooms?� Izumi asked.

�Because, this is the only bathroom that you and I share,� I pointed out. �I can�t go into their bathrooms. Anything else?� Izumi shook her head once. I took a heavy breath out.

�Right�� I said. I walked around her and headed down the hall. My thoughts picked up with each step. I have lived in this house for a year now. My relationships with the other five angels here are still stabilizing. They didn�t trust me much in the beginning. But over time, it got better. Izumi has latched onto me first. Then Natalia warmed up to me inch by inch. Yoshiko followed suited. Himeko and Liz both are still taking a while, but we�re all getting there.

I pushed open the door to my room. I looked around at the sunny yellow and faded rose pink with a heavy heart as I remembered my old room back at my house. Mama still lives in Suiten after all of the mess I was put through on that night. She doesn�t even know that I just on the other side of town. I have tried to contact her before, but she can�t see or hear me. I�m still trying to figure out a way to get touch with her to at least tell her that I am alright.

I�m starting to make myself sad all over again. I shook myself over those thoughts and went into my room. I lied down on my bed and reached over to a box on the dresser. It takes me a couple of seconds, but I managed to find my Ipod. I smiled as I held the small device in my hands. This little baby can cheer me up and put me back on track all of the time. I can already feel my heart rising out of the pit to normal again. I slipped the pink and white earbuds in my ears and turned on the music. �Supersonic� by Oasis fills my ears. I can never understand what they are saying. I struggled with English-language class when I was alive. Because of that, I take evening tutoring classes to keep me from failing. Even there, I still don�t understand English too well, let alone speak the language. The music is pretty good, though.

That�s right; I need to get to work before I fall asleep to the next song that comes after �Supersonic� on the playlist. I reached above my head and felt around for my notebook. I dragged it down into my view. I hold my eyes open as I open the book to the first page.

October 18th, 2005

9:00 p.m.: I left my tutoring class

9:29 p.m.: Decided to take a shortcut through the woods to get home quicker

9:32 p.m.: A murder

From there, I was chased, beaten to death, and dumped into a river.

I sighed as I flipped over to the next page. I can remember every single little detail of my death to the very second that I saw them throw my body into the river. I was killed by two boys a little biter older than me, nineteen years old tops. One of them smelled like rotting apples. I can still feel the whack of the baseball bat against my body. Not the aluminum type either. I�m talking about the wooden Louisville Slugger type. I shuddered at that thought.

I can�t think about that right now. Must get back to work. I looked on at the second page.

People Involved:


Two boys

Another girl close to their age

That other girl. I don�t know much about her. We never even really met. I just saw her die before I did. Yes, yes, she was their real target. And me? Just my luck that I had to be there that night, going on that particular shortcut. Yeah, sucks to be me then. I turned to the next page in my notebook. No use bitching about the past. Just find your killers, bring them to justice, and rest in peace after that. That was the bargain I made with the officials in Meifu after all. Grandma always taught me to make good on a promise, no matter how impossible it looks. I have to do this for her, that girl those boys killed, and myself.

A knock came on my bedroom door. I paused my music and looked up.

�Yeah?� I asked.

�Yoshiko and I are going out for sushi,� Izumi called on the other side. �You want to come with us?� I sat up on my bed.

�Sure, I�ll be out in second!� I answered her without a single thought.

�We�ll be outside, waiting,� Izumi said. I waited to move as I heard footsteps disappear down the hall. I looked over at my white bunny alarm clock. Noon, already? It doesn�t feel like it. Then again, I am feeling break hungry. Time for a break now, I guess.

I put away my notebook and Ipod and head out of the room. Solving my murder will have to wait like it always does. Bah, I�ve got time.