Chapter Seven: Ego Guro-hime:

October 10th, 2006.

I don�t actually know how to begin this. This was just my shrink�s idea. Well� My name is Fukui Hitomi and I�m pretty much am fucked up. I don�t how this happened to me. Why do we turn out like this? I used to have big hopes for myself, but then they just quietly died away. I still hold onto one hope, however. There is this one guy I want to see again before I go to college. I feel that he�s the only best friend that I�ve ever had. Some people were nice, but only he meant it. If I could only see him once more�

I sighed and hit stop on my walkman. Even back then, Hitomi never said what was on her mind. She always smiled, even when she was in pain. I never really understood her at times.

�Why do you always smile?� I asked her one day in the fourth grade. She shrugged her shoulders at me.

�It�s all I can do,� she admitted. I didn�t understand her then and I still don�t. I don�t even think I can even bring myself to finish these tapes, not now at least. I shut my eyes.

Why did your mom give these to me? Why? Why?

I suddenly became aware of someone sitting on my bed next to me. I glanced up to see Sakura-hime looking down at me. I stared at her, blinking.

�What the?!?� I asked. She had a stoic look on her face.

�Morning,� she mumbled.

�Uh� why are you on my bed?� I asked.

�To apologize,� Sakura-hime said somberly. I blinked at her.

�Uh�� I mumbled. She looked over at Hitomi�s journal beside me and saw her picture.

�Who is she?� she asked, �Your girlfriend?� I shook my head at her.

�No,� I said, �She�s just a friend.� Sakura-hime looked at the picture while smacking her gum.

�Ah,� she said, �She�s pretty.�

�She�s dead,� I told her. That lady looked at me rather perplexed.

�Oh,� she said, �How did she die?� I sat up straight at that question.

�What?� I asked, stunned.

�How did your friend die?� Sakura-hime asked again. I tilted my head at her, hoping that I heard her wrong.

�Are you asking how my friend died?� I asked.

�Yes!� she said, pushing me. I blinked at her with big eyes.

�Why?� I asked.

�Cause I want to know,� Sakura-hime said, just inches from my face, �Now tell me, how did this friend of yours die?�

�Suicide,� I said at last.

�How?� she asked, �Hanging? Overdose? Slit her wrists?� I frowned at her enthusiasm at such morbid questions.

�She gassed herself to death in the family car,� I replied. I could�ve sworn that Sakura-hime looked like a little girl who had just woken up to see a mountain under the tree on Christmas morning.

�Wow!� she said, �Why did she do it?� I backed away from the crazy woman.

�I don�t know,� I said, �Her mom didn�t tell me. Why do you keep asking me all of these questions?� Sakura-hime backed up with a smile on her face.

�You�ll have to excuse me,� she said, �I find suicide and death to be quite arousing at times.� I tilted my head at her.

�Uh-huh�� I mumbled. Sakura-hime gave me an innocent little pout.

�Oh, come on,� she said, �I�m not going to try and molest you. I already apologized. What more do you want from me?� I nodded at her rather uneasily.

�Right�� I mumbled. I bolted out of bed and dashed across the hall to the bathroom.

�Tell me you find out why your friend killed herself, okay?� Sakura-hime shouted from the room. That only propelled me to run faster. I raced into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me, panting.

That woman� She�s just nuts! I decided to do my best not to be alone with Sakura-hime as much as possible.