Chapter Twelve: I Want to be Alone:

We made it back to the house about seven in the morning. The guys didn�t speak to me for the whole ride home. I just wanted to be alone at this point. I had the feeling that the guys sensed that from me as well. I had my knees to my chest, looking down at the floor. I replayed the whole fight in my head just like I did at the steakhouse. Despite all of that, I still had more questions than answers. If Dan wasn�t the reason Hitomi killed herself, then what happened?

The girls stood outside of the house waiting for us. Akemi�s face went pale when she saw the bruises on mine.

�What the hell happened?!� she demanded to know.

�Leave me alone,� I muttered as I walked by her.

�I won�t leave you alone!� she shouted. �Tell me what happened right now!� The only response I gave was the door slamming behind me. I dragged myself up the stairs to my room. Hitomi, why didn�t you say anything? I flopped back on my bed. The ceiling looked like an endless black hole this morning. I reached up in vain to grab it. I was right here, I thought. You could�ve told me something.

My mind went back to that day by the creek. She could�ve said something there, but we didn�t talk. I could�ve asked her again what was wrong, but I kept my mouth shut. She would�ve lied anyway. We didn�t speak that die, but I wonder if anything would�ve been different if either one of us had said something.

I reached under my bed and drew out the walkman. After looking through Hitomi�s tapes, I selected a random one, put it in, and hit play.

July 23rd, 2004.

When I was a little girl, I loved to catch frogs down by the creek. My mom made me throw them back and wash my hands. They were just so cute. I used to put them in the small pond in grandma�s front yard and just watch them swim. For just once, I want a frog for a pet. Everything in my room used to be filled with Kerokerokeroppi. Keroppi sheets, Keroppi pajamas, Keroppi slippers, Keroppi backpack, my school supplies were Keroppi, most of my clothes were Keroppi, I even had a Keroppi toothbrush. �She laughs on the tape-

My mom got so sick of buying Keroppi at one point. �Don�t you want anything else?� she asked. I laughed and said no at the top of my lungs. She only sighed and shook her head. I still have my big stuffed Keroppi daddy bought for my birthday before he left us. I remember that summer I showed Kichiro-kun my �pets� at grandma�s house. I had never heard a boy scream like a girl in my life.

-Kichiro-

I remember that summer really well. She shoved a frog right in my face. Of course, I screamed. I didn�t expect it to be within inches of my face like that. You would scream to if beady little eyes were staring right into yours. I smiled to myself through the pain of my face. That was one of the best summers in my life. However, sorrow crept up in my gut as I remembered the recent events. Why didn�t you say something before you killed yourself? A knock came on my door. I pressed stop and looked up.

�What?� I asked.

�You okay in there?� Akemi asked. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

�Yeah,� I replied. �Can I please be alone for little while?�

�Tell me who hit you,� she demanded. I rolled over on my side.

�Go away, please?� I asked. �I�m too tired for this. Just leave me alone.�

�I will whoop the ass of whoever did this to you,� she said. �You know that, right?�

�Yes!� I shouted. �Now can you just go away?�

�Alright,� Akemi replied. I didn�t even lift my head when her footsteps echoed away from my door. I held the walkman near my chest as I drew my pillow over my head. I just want to be alone, I thought. I drew my eyes closed in an attempt to finally go to sleep.