Chapter Fourteen: Making Sense:

I have been at this house for close to a week and a half now. My sister�s friends treat me as one of their own now. To tell you the truth, I don�t know how long I�m supposed to stay here. Akemi has yet to tell when I�m going home and I doubt that she ever will. I rolled over on my stomach in my bed. Heh, �my� bed. It still doesn�t feel like home just yet.

I still don�t know why Hitomi killed herself. I haven�t even finished her tapes and journal. One would think they would know their friends really well. There is still so much I don�t know about Hitomi. I never even figured out why she called me out there that day. Why would she call me of all people? We weren�t that close by that time. I should have tried to talk to her then. Maybe try and make sense of everything. The more I try, the more I get confused.

I reached under my bed for Hitomi�s journal. My hand ran along the plastic green cover. Looking at it gave me even more questions in my head. Why would her mother give me Hitomi�s journal and tapes? I didn�t even go to the funeral. Her mother just showed up my front door afterwards and handed it to me.

�Please take them, my daughter would�ve wanted you to have them,� was all she told me. Before I could ask, she walked into her car and drove off. Honestly, I didn�t know what to do with the box at first. Throwing it away would be heartless, but I didn�t have any use for it either. It pretty much ended up stashed in room until Akemi came and took me away. I turned the journal around in my hand.

Well, might as well read more since I can�t sleep. I opened the journal on where I last stopped and began reading.

Sometimes, I look up at the skies and see the birds. I almost envy them in a way. They can just fly away wherever they want. Birds are free. Some people are free too. Kichiro-kun is like a bird. One day, he�ll fly away to Tokyo and go around the world. He�ll probably be a doctor in America or a professor in Europe. Kichiro-kun�s smart enough to do it. I believe in him.

I didn�t know what to say. Hitomi clearly thought highly of me. I didn�t understand why, though. I�m not really anyone special. I just studied hard like I was supposed to. I wasn�t good at sports or very popular. Yet, Hitomi stuck by me and never explained why. I tried to ask her when we were in grade school together. She gave me a huge grin.

�You are so cool!� Hitomi shouted on the playground. Even back then, I thought she was weird. Remembering all of that made me read more in the entry.

I am nothing like Kichiro-kun. I am not a bird. I will never fly away. I�m not too smart. Kichiro-kun surpasses me in every way. In my eyes, he is divine. I can never compete with that. My best friend is truly divine.

I shook my head. Hitomi, you think too highly of me, I thought. Some of the pages in her journal go on and on about how great I am. I still don�t know why she liked so much. Her friendship didn�t make much sense to me. I guess we didn�t really want to be so lonely. We were just two socially awkward little kids who just found each other and just hung around because we didn�t have any other friends. After we lost touch, I didn�t really make any new friends. Instead, I hit the books and studied throughout high school.

Looking through these pages, I see that Hitomi didn�t really have many friends either. She might have locked herself away in her room as they say. However, I don�t really read any evidence of that sort of thing. I believe that I need to know more about Hitomi. I was about to turn the page when there was a knock on my bedroom door. I slid the journal back under my book.

�Yes?� I asked.

�Kichiro-kun,� I heard a groggy voice mumble. �Are you awake yet?� I sat up in my bed, confused.

�Sakura-hime?� I asked.

�Can I come in?� she asked in a tiny voice. I bit on my lower lip.

�Why?� I asked.

�Please?� she whimpered.

�Go back to bed,� I grumbled.

�Please?� she begged again. I lay back in my bed.

�If I let you in will you go away?� I asked.

�Yes!� she said aloud. I sighed, putting my hand over my face.

�Fine, come in,� I said. Sakura-hime tried to open the door.

�It�s locked,� she complained. I rolled my eyes.

�Hang on,� I told her. I climbed out of bed and unlocked the bedroom door. Sakura-hime looked inside, pouting.

�Thank you so much,� she whispered.

�Whatever,� I mumbled. She walked straight past me into my room. I shook my head as I closed the door behind us.

<