Chapter XIII:

Back then, I still dreamt of my family. I could still see their faces when I was still pure. The thought of me being pure almost makes me laugh now. It’s so strange when you can’t remember the last time you were happy. Now, I can barely remember anything about my family anymore. I can’t even see their faces. Their voices are all but a faint whisper now. They hid among the ones I killed.

Back then, I carried my family with me on that ship. I could get the bodies of my sister and Nathanial out of my head. Just the before, we were so happy. My sister talked about all of the presents that she wanted. Nathanial wanted to go hunting before the party. Father laughed and promised him that we would. That’s about all I remembered. It used to scare me. The thought of not remembering my family. Especially my brother and sister.

My mother was the first one to disappear from my mind. The only think I can remember now is her long wavy red hair. It floats around in the darkness of my mind. Red hair has a weird effect on me. My heart is always stirred when I see it in my mind. I always try to right out to but I can never touch it. I can hear it laughing at me from time to time.

My father disappeared next. I don’t think we were ever that close. But I still had to try my best to hold onto him. He wasn’t exactly a kind man but he was fair. He wanted Nathaniel and I to be strong men like him. But he’s never going to see me grow up, will he? In a way now, I was glad. He can’t see me like this. I don’t know what he would think if he saw me now. It’s probably for the better that he’s faded from my memories.

It seemed like Nathaniel fought to stay in my mind. I can’t remember what his face looks like anymore. I don’t remember what his voice sounds like anymore. That’s what scares me the most. There’s nothing I can do to stop it either. That’s what happens when the darkness takes over. It won’t be long before I won’t be me anymore. Funny I say that now since I should be used to it by now. But still…

Oh don’t mind me. I am just am old fool rambling on about nothing. What else can I do? It’s all that I have now.

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, my late little brother.

More and more of him keeps disappearing from my mind. He’s almost a non-existent ghost. I reached out for his hand once in my dreams. My fingers went through. He disappears further away from me. When he disappeared, I knew there was no turning back.

Finally, there is my sister. Just like mother, she had long red hair. That’s the only thing that exists of her. I try to reach for her hair but I can never reach her. She and mother keep getting further and further away from me. It won’t be long before I am completely alone.

My memories of family are all but gone now. I think were happy. Maybe we were. That doesn’t matter anymore. I am just alone. Alone and I will soon cease to exist as a human.

But first, I have to finish with my story. Please hear me out for the rest.