Chapter XIX:

Her voice came back. She came back the night before the winter feast. I was in my bed trying to sleep. Lately, I had many nights of lying awake. Sleep doesn’t really come to me anymore. The best I can manage quick naps in the daytime after meals. I haven’t seen those two figures around. I didn’t see her. But I knew she was there.

It got worse last night.

I tried once again to go back to sleep when it started. A pair of invisible hands rubbing on my chest. I sucked in a mouthful of air. No… I didn’t want to turn around.

I could feel her smiling at me. I could predict what she was going to say. I started to mouth along to her words.

“Ladybird, ladybird. Fly away home. You house is on fire and your children all gone. All except one. And that’s little Ann. And she has crept under the warming pan.”

But this time, she added more to her usual words.

“Found you,” that woman whispered. Her nails sank into my chest. I couldn’t breathe. My eyes widened. What… What was she doing to me? I couldn’t move for the rest of the night.

Since then, she won’t leave. I can hear her giggling at me. I see her out of the corner of my eye. When I turn around, there is nothing there. I don’t want to think about what she wants from me. Why can’t she just leave me alone?

The next night was worse. Despite David leading me down the streets, I could hear her whistling in my ear.

“Ladybird, ladybird. Fly away home. You house is on fire and your children all gone. All except one. And that’s little Ann. And she has crept under the warming pan.”

I tried not to look behind me. I could feel the cold sweat all over my body. David didn’t even notice how I felt. Why would I want to ruin his excitement with looking for a wife? As for me, I had to try and pretend that everything was normal. Or at least my standard of normal. I noticed David glancing back at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I forced myself to smile.

“Not really,” I said. “I feel a little sick.” Part of me hoped that would be enough of hint. Sadly, David didn’t get it.

“Nonsense!” he said, looking over his shoulder. “You just need food and drink.” He pulled me further down the street. It helped that there were still people outside. They looked excited enough for tonight’s feast. There were some of our neighbors as usual. But I noticed there were some women I hadn’t seen before. (I didn’t get out much then. When I do, I try to keep conversation to a minimum.) They had to be from the town. We passed two women standing outside talking in the cold. One of them looked up and gave me a coy smile. I waved but David pulled me along.

She looks so pretty. Do you think she bleeds easily?

I shook my head as I looked down. Her fingertips caressed me cheek. I could picture her smiling behind me.

“Please leave me alone,” I mouthed. She won’t stop smiling. I clutched a small wooden cross in my pocket. We would be at the captain’s house in a few minutes. I lifted my head to the sky. I just need to make it there a few more steps. David hadn’t asked me what was wrong with me since that last exchange. I had to make myself not look back. If I did, I would be feeding her. She started to speak again.

“Ladybird, ladybird. Fly away home. You house is on fire and your children all gone. All except one. And that’s little Ann. And she has crept under the warming pan.”

I clinched my teeth and started whimpering. Please! Leave me alone. Why do you keep doing this to me? What do you want from me?

I broke down and turned around. There was no one there.

“See some pretty girls?” David asked. I turned back to him, shaking his head.

“No,” he said. That silly boy frowned.

“Darn it,” he muttered. “I was hoping to see more beauties out here tonight. Oh well, we might get lucky at the feast. Come on. We have to get going.” All I could do was shake my head and follow along. I knew that she was still there. She was just being quiet now, watching me. I had to come up with a way to get her out of my life before it was too late. But for now, I need to think. I needed a crowded place to focus and not have her voice in my head. Maybe this feast could help me.