Chapter XXIII:

Two women have ruined me. The first one wouldn’t leave me alone.

“What kind of fish do you want?” I asked.

“What’s your catch of the day?” Elizabeth asked.

“Um… let me see,” I said. I looked down at the fish in front of me. There wasn’t much to pick today. The fishing hadn’t been great that year.

“Do you like black sea bass?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I’ve never had it before.”

“Really?” I asked. “Would you like to try it?”

“Yes, please,” Elizabeth said. She didn’t even need to think about that answer. Her frankness threw me for a loop.

“Sure, sure,” I said. I picked out the best cuts and wrapped them up. She kept her eyes on me the whole time. Why did I feel so nervous? We met before. But still, something about her reminded me of that other girl. A chill ran up my spine as I shook my head.

“Are you feeling okay?” I heard her ask. She had a concerned look on her face when our eyes met. We didn’t speak for a second.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said. I held out her wrapped up bass.

“Here you go,” I said.

“Thank you,” Elizabeth said.

“Fifteen pence,” I said. She paid the money and I put it in the bag.

“Have a nice day,” I said. Elizabeth bowed and headed down the market. And she was gone. That should’ve been the end of that.

But it wasn’t as you can see.

Everywhere go, I see her. Both of them. One filled with malice. One with innocence malice. I don’t know what they want with me.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” I heard in my ear. I turned my head. I can’t see her but I know she is there. Her hands grab onto me. I can feel my body breaking out into a sweat.

Please let me go.

“No.”

My eyes glanced behind me. Why?

She began sniffing on my hair. Her nails started to dig into my clothes. I wanted to scream but my voice was choked up in my throat. No one on the outside seemed to notice that I was in distress. I at least hoped that someone would turn their head and look. I wanted to reach out for help. I hoped that someone, anyone would notice me.

Reality came back when I heard her giggling. I looked behind me again. I could hear her giggling at me. Then she said that damned poem again.

“Ladybird, ladybird. Fly away home. You house is on fire and your children all gone. All except one. And that’s little Ann. And she has crept under the warming pan.”

I couldn’t move. I tried to scream but only managed a low whimper. She broke down laughing in my ear.

Someone called my name. I jerked myself back into reality. One of my fellow fishermen stared at me. The worried look on his face made my stomach drop. Oh no. Please don’t look at me like that. This isn’t my fault. This isn’t my fault.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I slowly shook my head.

“I don’t feel so good,” I said in low voice. “Excuse me.” I turned and left the booth. He called my name as I walked away. I could hear her laughter while I saw Elizabeth’s face in my head. It would’ve been easy for me to end it there. The dumber, desperate version of me didn’t know how much he liked to suffer back then. Maybe then I could’ve stopped myself and not walk down this dark road.