Chapter XXXI:

The nightmares keep getting worse. I dreamt that I had killed Elizabeth. My hands were around her neck. Her eyes pleaded up at me for mercy. She reached up and touched my cheek before her hand dropped to the side. Elizabeth didn’t even try to fight me. Why was I tried to kill her? What have I done wrong?

Luna only makes it worse.

“You know it’s going to happen,” she whispered in my ears. I tried to close my eyes and block her out. I couldn’t keep Elizabeth away from me. We were having a baby. She’s too excited about our life to even notice my misery.

“Am I still getting up in the middle of the night?” I asked. Elizabeth rubbed on my chest and shoulders.

“I don’t think you have,” she said. I look at her sadly. I wish that I can believe her. Luna is always behind her, watching me. I can’t get away from her. Why can’t she just leave me alone? Even if I try to run away, she will always be there. I don’t know how to make it stop. I started to go to church for help. That’s starting to backfire on me. I think Luna’s listening in the shadows. Can she even get into the church? I’m scared to even find out.

“Are you feeling well?” Elizabeth asked me one day. I couldn’t even answer her.

“What’s the matter?” she asked. I started to speak but nothing came out. She wrapped her arms around my neck. Please don’t look at me like that. I felt myself breaking down inside. Luna stands across the room, smirking at me.

I held Elizabeth tightly to my body.

“Dearest!” I heard her say. “You’re squeezing me! It hurts!” I didn’t pay attention to what she was saying.

The least I could do was protect my growing family. I didn’t know but I was going to try anyway. Even if that means protecting them from myself. I first turned to the church again for help. What else could I do? No other people could help me. The priest was already waiting for me. He stood at the doorway of the church.

“Are you here to ask for my help again?” the priest asked.

“Yes!” I said in one breath. “It’s getting worse.” I noticed the sympathetic look on his face.

“Come inside,” he said. I followed him into the church. When I walked over the threshold, everything started to look wavy around me. A low buzzing ran through my ears.

“Hello?” I asked. I reached my hand forward. I about jumped when I touched the priest’s back. I froze when he turned around.

“Is something wrong?” he asked. I drew back my hand, blinking.

“I don’t know…” I said.

“Do you need to sit down?” the priest asked. I quickly nodded.

“Yes,” I said. I sat down in one of the wooden pews. The priest sat down in front of me. I took in a deep breath. My hands started to shake.

“Is this church on consummated ground?” I asked The priest looked confused.

“Of course it is,” he said. “Why do you ask?” I closed my eyes and gulped.

“I am having dreams of murdering Elizabeth,” I said.

“What?” he asked. I put up my hands as if I were strangling an invisible neck. I felt myself trembling as I did so. The priest tilted his head.

“Is everything okay at home?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said with a dry mouth. Somehow, I kept feeling Luna’s eyes locked on my back. Still, I forced myself to keep talking. “We’re having a baby soon.”

“Oh, congratulations!” the priest said.

“Thank you,” I said, bowing my head. “The baby’s going to be born sometime around winter.”

“I see,” he said. I quickly shook my head.

“No, you don’t understand,” I said. “I’m scared.” He took me by the hands.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said.

“No, listen!” shouted. He drew his mouth closed.

“I’m scared of me,” I said. “I don’t want to be a monster. I don’t want to kill them.” I looked into his eyes.

“Can’t you help me?” I asked. “Tell me what to do.” The priest wouldn’t let go of my hands.

“I can help you,” he said. I don’t know how to feel. This was supposed to be my saving grace, my salvation. Something inside of me doesn’t let me try to feel relief. Again, I could feel Luna’s eyes on my back. Don’t tell me…

“Are you feeling ill?” the priest asked.

“What?” I asked.

“You look so pale,” he said. I tried to speak but my mouth felt so dry. That old man patted me on the shoulder.

“I think you need to go lie down,” he said. “Here, I’ll let you use my bed.” I didn’t speak as he pulled me to my feet and dragged me away. For one brief moment, I could’ve sworn that I saw Luna looked in the window at me. There’s no way that she could…

I had no idea how wrong I was.