Chapter XXXIV:
I have been
feeling ill lately. When I wake up in the morning, I think that I am going to be
sick. I feel like I am going to throw up. My stomach hurts so much that I can
barely get out of bed. Sometimes, I felt like I was going to die. I can’t go out
and hunt in the forest anymore. Elizabeth doesn’t know what to do. We’ve called
the doctor. He doesn’t know what to do either.
Every time I
closed my eyes, I saw Luna’s face. She smiled at me. There’s nothing more
horrifying than that damned smile. Why won’t she leave me be? Was it because of
Elizabeth and the baby?
We weren’t
really trying to have any children. She didn’t want to be a mother after all. I
didn’t mind. We hadn’t prepared for this. I fainted when she told me the news. I
don’t think she was happy about the news either. When I came to, I found her
kneeling beside me.
“Are you okay?”
she asked.
“No,” I said,
shaking my head. I sat up as my stomach turned. I got up and ran outside. My
wife screamed out my name behind me. I threw up behind the house. I could hear
Luna laughing in my ear. Her fingertips caressed my back. I didn’t dare to look
up. Her smirk would be the first thing that I saw. I could feel her breath on my
ear. I doubled over when I finished vomiting.
Since then, I
have been feeling sick. Did Luna cause this? Why did she want to hurt me like
this? Every night, her hands are always rubbing on my back. All the while,
Elizabeth doesn’t know. I can’t tell her either. I don’t even know how to
explain it. She wouldn’t believe me if I told her. Besides, Elizabeth already
had enough on her mind as it was. What were we going to do about the baby?
“Do you want to
keep the child?” I asked her that night.
“I don’t know,”
she said. Her answer made me lift my head. This wasn’t like her. Elizabeth
didn’t want to have any children.
“What do you
mean?” I asked. She shrugged and shook her head. My heart sank with worry. I
couldn’t let that child into my problems. But what did my wife want? Elizabeth
moved her hand to her belly. I had the feeling that she would want to have this
child. I didn’t believe that she wouldn’t want this kid. But what were we going
to do with it?
Luna is always
in my dreams. I can remember every one of them. It’s always a white room.
There’s nothing but a chair in the middle of the room. I am compelled to take a
seat. I walked forward to the chair and sat down. The silence made it much
worse. I sat down and closed my eyes. It doesn’t take long before I’m not alone
anymore. She stands at the other side of the room. Luna has no emotion her face.
Even her skin, hair, and clothes are white. Her dark eyes stood out in this
white room.
“What do you
want from me?” I ask every time. She never gives me an answer.
“Who are you
really?” I asked. “Why can’t you leave me alone?” Luna just stared at me. She
doesn’t say a word. Suddenly, my heart starts to ache. I look in time to see her
walking towards. I want to scream at her but I can’t speak. My eyes wide as she
moves closer.
No! Get back!
Get away from me!
Luna is right in
front of me now. She grins me. Her teeth and tongue are blacker than the night.
I wanted to scream. Then she says that stupid rhyme again.
“Ladybird,
ladybird. Fly away home. You house is on fire and your children all gone. All
except one. And that’s little Ann. And she has crept under the warming pan.”
I quickly shake
my head. “Stop it! Stop it, please!” She grabbed onto my cheeks and said that
damned phrase.
“I will never
let you go.”
I woke up with a
cold sweat those early years. Elizabeth used to calm me down in the beginning. I
didn’t know when that stopped. At that moment, my wife calmed me down. I turned
over and kissed her on the forehead.
“I love you,” I whispered. “I will never you go.” I held her in my arms as tightly as I could. I tried to ignore Luna’s eyes on my back. I could tell that she was smirking at myself.