Chapter Twenty-Three: Fighting for Nothing:

Now that I think of it, do I really want to go back? My partner and I didn’t have a good relationship. Even before all of this happened, David and I were close to breaking up. Not even the kids could save it. No, even before the kids came it was falling apart. I just hadn’t seen it until now.

I’ve tried hard to think, but I don’t have an answer. Why hadn’t I seen it before? There were other things happening. That had to be it. Okay, there had to be something else. That was it, right?

I frowned to myself.

Why hasn’t he tried to look for us? I have no idea how long we’ve been in this ghost town of a neighbourhood. There is nobody here. No one. I doubt Paul would know what to do when I go into labor. Ava is just a kid. I don’t have much medical knowledge either. Damn it, David should be here. Why are we still here?

David is selfish. I’ve known that all along. I guess I kind of overlooked it. I kind of found it endearing. Now that I think of it, it started to annoy me. That wasn’t his only flaw that I tried to ignore. I end up being the one trying to keep us alive. Even as pregnant as I was, I had to do everything. I had to pack up for evacuation. I had to try and get us on a ship. And what did he do? Nothing. Nothing but complain. I put up with it. What else could I do? We were trying to survive. It’s hard to survive when you have to deal with a man-child and a two-year-old girl while pregnant. I tried to make the most of it. However as the months dragged on, it became a nightmare. It was hard not to notice. I didn’t have a job to distract me. He wasn’t working either. Then again, he hadn’t worked before. Okay, he had one job before. David did work a security job for a time. I don’t remember how he lost that job. He might have told me, but I don’t remember.

That doesn’t matter anymore.

I have been kidding myself this whole time. We haven’t been happy this whole time. Why were we still hanging on? I’ve run out of excuses to justify it away. Frankly, I am tired. And it’s not just the pregnancy. I don’t think he even wanted kids. I did, but not right now. I at least wanted some sort of stability first. It just kind of happened. Do I regret it? No. I love my babies. I am going to be there for them. But where does that leave David?

It looks like nowhere.

I smiled and shook my head.

I should’ve known. He didn’t come back and get me. We got into a fight and he left me. Just left without saying a word. I don’t even know if he’s looking for us. I wrinkled my nose. I doubt it. I shouldn’t be surprised. The question is where does that leave us? That I do not know.

I looked up when I heard a knock on my door.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Are you okay?” Paul asked. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“No,” I said. I stared at the door. I waited for him to say something. I shifted in place as I lifted my chin.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said. Thinking about David took so much out of me. Paul opened the door and poked his head inside.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“I just came to check on you,” he said. I gave him an odd look before I shook my head.

“Whatever,” I muttered.

“I’m serious,” Paul said. He slipped into my room. I dropped back onto the bed and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Do you know what you are going to do when the food runs out in this neighbourhood?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Paul said. I looked over at him.

“You said like my partner,” I said. He wrinkled his nose.

“I don’t mind that in a good way,” I said.

“Oh,” Paul said. Part of me hoped that he would pry. I felt let down when he didn’t. I sighed again.

“I am so tired of being the one to plan everything,” I complained.

“Then why do you do it?” Paul asked.

“To survive,” I said. I dropped my arm to my side as I stared at the ceiling. How was it that I was the one who had to think ahead in these situations?