Crazy Nights

So here they were. All three women at the table. All eyes on him. Well, his nieces were. Bretha was looking off to the side. William dug through his brain. Where was he going to start? He rubbed the back of his head.

“Um…” I stared at my audience. Liz raised her eyebrow. The old man figured that there was only one way out of this.

“I met her at the pub, okay?” he asked.

“The pub?” Liz asked. William nervously laughed.

“Yeah. She just followed me home.” That sounded worse out loud. Liz didn’t look convinced.

“She followed you home?”

“Pretty much.”

“What does that mean?” Liz swatted her sister’s hand away as she tried to hold her back.

“I’m marrying him!” Bretha shouted. William winced as he tried not to look at her teeth. They looked worse than Clyde’s.

“No, you’re not!” the family yelled in unison. The woman poked out her lower lip. Liz glared at her uncle. William’s nervous laughter died in his throat.

“And how long has she been living here?” Liz asked as she folded her across her chest. The old man’s eyes shifted back and forth. There it was. He didn’t want to come to this, but he didn’t have a choice. Might as well get it all out.

“Six months,” William admitted sheepishly. That was when Liz lost it!

“Six months? Six months?! Six months?!” Liz’s face looked so red. It took Clover holding on tight to keep her sister from launching herself across the table. Well, it was out in the open. Now what?

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Elsewhere, Clyde was standing up in the bushes with a huge grin on her face. She waved both hands back and forth.

“’ Ello!” the dirty old biddy shouted. Lily rolled her eyes. Of all the people…

“Where are the other two?” the leader asked.

“Other two?” Phillip asked. Christy turned and hissed at him to stop this. Clyde gave the people crowded at the door a goofy shrug. Lily fought to keep it together.

“What are you doing here?” Annie asked.

“Dunno!” Clyde said.

“Look, can you all just leave?” Kristy asked. Her voice sounded like she was about to lose it. Phillip put his hand on her shoulder.

“At least try the cake,” Annie said. She opened the box for them to look.

“Ooo!” Phillip said. He reached out and took it.

“Cheers,” he said.

“Ah, yes, very nice,” Christy said.  “Bye-bye.” She reached over to close the door when everyone heard a sneeze. The woman in the house frowned.

“What is it now?” she asked. Lily recognized that sneeze. She threw back her head and groaned.

“Muriel! Lewis! Come out,” the leader said. “I know you’re there.” There was a pause. Annie frowned and shook her head. The couple in the house looked at each other. What was it now?

Finally, Muriel and Lewis stood up out of the bushes. Lily frowned as she folded her arms across her chest.

“Hi,” Lewis said with a little wave. Muriel looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. Christy clicked her tongue at the door. Could this get any worse?

End