Chapter Twenty-Five: Heaven:
Some days were okay. Hisoka rested his head on Jessie's lap. Her fingers gently stroked his hair.
Why am I doing this? Jessie looked around the hotel room. She began to see why he would hate himself. Beer bottles littered the floor. Most of everything looked broken. Food stuck to the walls. The whole room smelled like vomit. The drawn curtains didn't make matters any better. The demon sneered at the setting. What did we even do last night? Jessie's gaze moved downwards when she felt Hisoka stir in her lap. He looked at her with tears in his eyes.
"Jessie," he whimpered. The demon sighed, waiting for more whining.
"What?" she groaned. Hisoka sniffled as another tear ran down his cheek.
"Why am I like this?" he asked.
"You're lonely," Jessie explained, "You just want to be loved." She could see the deep sorrow in his eyes. She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. He wouldn't respond; she knew that. In a way, her heart ached for him. Jessie shook her head.
Why does it hurt in my chest so much? I'm not supposed to have sentiment for this dummy. It's his damn fault that he's like this now. He should've taken that rejection like a man. No wonder his partner married someone else. Jessie paused her thoughts when she noticed Hisoka's mumbling.
"Huh?" The demon brought her ear to his mouth.
"Please don't leave me," Hisoka whispered. Jessie sat up with stiff spine. W-W-What?
"Hisoka�" she murmured.
"Please," he pleaded in hiccupping sob. "Stay with me. I don't want to be alone." Jessie bit on her lower lip. This had slowly turned into a strange trip. She really wanted to use him for her own revenge, but what he said only confused her further. Jessie closed her eyes, frowning.
No, I vowed never to get emotionally tangled up. Hisoka looked so pitiful lying there in her lap. She had no idea how long they had been sitting, motionless. If Jessie tried to get up, the shinigami would plead for her to come back. Trying to reason with him didn't work either.
"I need you," he would beg her. "Please don't leave." The problem was how much more could she take? For years, Jessie only looked after herself. She used people until she got bored with them. For some reason, Jessie couldn't throw Hisoka away. True, he was broken and useless now, but � The demon clutched her chest and winced. She closed her eyes and took in small breaths.
"Damn," Jessie whispered. "Why can't this stupid pain go away?" The demon glanced down when she heard a low groan. Hisoka had fallen asleep in her lap moments ago before. His lover froze in horror as one of her worst thoughts crossed her mind. No! Good lord, no! Shit!
"Tsuzuki�" she heard Hisoka mumble. �Jessie� I love you�" The demon froze, red in the face.
"L-L-Liar!" she yelled at his sleeping face. "Idiot! Why are you so fucking stupid?" But, what if she wanted to hear at least one person tell her that in her life? Jessie held the sleeping boy in her lap like he was a pet. Her hair brushed his cheek as she leaned down.
"Well that's too bad," she whispered. "Because I hate you." Funny thing, her tone sounded rather uncertain. She couldn't even bring herself to believe her own words.