Chapter Eight: Mama Pearl’s Jug:

I sat up in bed. In the darkness, I could see Mama frowning at me. My stomach dropped. Did she know? There was no way that she could. Did someone see me? There was no way. Maybe it wasn’t that.

“Yes, Mama?” I asked.

“Why didn’t you come to church with us today?” she asked.

“I wasn’t feeling well,” I said. My voice came out quivering. I couldn’t remember the last time my Mama’s eyes looked so cold.

“Don’t lie, girl,” she said. She didn’t yell. Mama didn’t have to. I cast my eyes downward.

“I’m not lying, Mama,” I said. I felt her gaze on me. She’s only been angry one time. It was when I was six years old when I went into the woods behind the house. She had me shunned by the family for four weeks. They pretended I didn’t exist. I had to get food for myself. I wasn’t even allowed to sleep in my room. Daddy had to be the one to invite me back to the family.

I didn’t want to be shunned again.

Mama lifted my chin. I felt so small in her gaze. I wished that I could get up and run away. What she asked me next made the situation worse.

“Are you pregnant?” she asked. My eyes widened.

“I… I… I don’t know!” I stammered out. My face looked so pale. I hadn’t even thought about that. Well, maybe I did and I hoped it wasn’t true. My eyes welled up with tears. Mama clicked her tongue as she let go of my face.

“Disgraceful,” she said. Mama grabbed me and pulled me out of bed.

“Mama!” I screamed. She didn’t respond. I tried in vain to pull away. I screamed as her nails dug into my arm.

“Quiet, girl!” Mama hissed. I hiccupped a sob. No one was coming to help me. I shut my eyes as we went down the hall. How did Mama find out? What was going to happen to me? I didn’t want to be shunned again.

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Mama dragged me out toward the woods. The tears wouldn’t stop rolling down my cheeks.

“Mama,” I whimpered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Please. Can we go back?” She didn’t answer. Not once did she look back. I sniffled as my toes touched wet leaves. This was the first time that I had been deep in the woods. Why was she taking me here?

“Mama? Mama?” I asked.

“Quiet,” she hissed. I let out a sniffle. The air felt so much colder around us. I couldn’t help but remember all of the stories about the woods surrounding the town. In school, they taught us that bad children were dragged out there in the middle of the night and left there. I never believed such stories. Why would I? I had always done what I was supposed to. That was until I met him…

Mama took me further down this narrow path. It felt like the trees were closing in around us. I couldn’t see her back anymore. Everything got quieter in the darkness. My heart pounded against my chest. I had never been this far into the woods before. I about did when I was little. I managed one foot on the path before I was grabbed up by one of the aunties and dragged back toward the house. After I was shunned, the town’s elders prayed over me and dunked me into the pool at the church as a way to wash away the sin. Needless to say, I stayed away from the woods for a long time.

Mama prayed under her breath as she kept walking. I imagined that she crossed herself at one point. I wanted to argue that I wasn’t corrupt or sick. My words were caught in my throat. She wasn’t going to listen to me. In her eyes, I was ruined. I didn’t want to know how she was going to fix me.

I looked up when I saw a faint light in the distance. Hm? What… What is that? Mama kept marching toward it as her prayers grew faster. I could make out the words she was saying. By now, my tears had dried, and I stopped sniffling. The closer we got, the stronger the light became. I squinted for a better look. The light started taking shape as we got closer. Was that a shack up ahead?

I noticed that we started walking faster. Mama’s prayers got a little bit louder, making my stomach turn. I shut my eyes and prayed that this would be over soon. However, I would get no such luck.

I opened my eyes as I stopped in my tracks. Mama had stopped praying. She reached out and knocked on the worn-down door. I could make out a crescent moon carved into the wood under the single lit candle sitting on the stand. Wait… Why did she take me out here to…?

I about jumped when the door creaked open. A face peeked out in the doorway. Mama cleared her throat.

“What do you want?” a tired, raspy voice asked behind the door. Mama shoved me forward.

“Another one of your lost lambs?” the voice asked. Mama said nothing as she let go of my arm. I turned as she walked back the path we came. I looked forward when I heard the door swing open wide. There was the lady whom we called Mama Pearl. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her crude black porcelain jug.

It was then that I knew how much trouble I was in.