Taste

*Shizuma*

It�s starting again. I�m beginning to feel the hunger. The craving for blood is back. I can feel it already. It always starts off small. Just little thoughts about that intoxicating fluid flood my mouth like a powerful wine. I try to ignore it. But when I do, the craving gets worse. Pains in my chest, sweat, nausea, agony, madness, and craving that I have never known before in my life. The more I withdrawal, the uglier it gets. I would have to get blood before I lose my mind. But where can I get some new blood? I looked down in the bed with me. Yuki was sound asleep next to me. My hunger flared instantly. My heart began pounding. I began breathing heavily. I could see the blood running through every single vein of his sweet body. My teeth began to form. That sick voice in my head returned again.

�You love him Shizuma,� it began saying. �Give Yuki dark gift. Yes, he can live with you forever!� I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head. No! I cannot bring myself to do that to him! He has to stay pure for my seek! I need� I need� I need to get away from him again. I climbed out of bed and walked over to the screen door. The night seems so clear. An icy feeling came over me again. This was what I was afraid of. My sick cravings were why I didn�t get attached to anyone. I was always scared of killing them in the end. Yuki might end up as my latest victim.

I shut my eyes and shook my head again. No! I can�t let that happen! I will not run away! I can fight this! I can overcome my curse. I looked over at Yuki. He looked so innocent sleeping. My heart ached for him again. He doesn�t know anything about me. I�m afraid to tell him. He�ll probably run away from me like everyone else. I can�t have that either. This is my battle own. But what I can do with him? There is no way in hell that he is going to give up on me. He�s proved that too well. What if I let him down easily? No pain. Just a clean break. I�ll just tell him I need a break for a few days. Sure, my grades will suffer some. Bah! But, that�s a small price to pay in order to get better, right? I sighed in distress. I know this wasn�t going to be easy. But why does it hurt my so much in the long run?

The next morning wasn�t any better. I walked to school in silence. Yuki did most of the talking as usual. I tried my best to act like I was listening. I could barely focus at all. The words were just floating past my head. Yuki�s voice was so muffled to me. It was as if I was underwater. My head seemed to be disconnected from my body. I began to try and force all bad thoughts out of my mind. Blood-drinking is like doing coke. The thoughts never really leave you. They just shrink and hide for a while. Then when you least expect it, they spring out like a surprise attack and never leave. This is always the first battle of an addiction. The war has began. If I can just stay alone in my head, I will be fine.

�Shizu-kun!� someone yelled to me. I looked up to see my love. Yuki was looking at me in concern.

�Are you even listening to me?� he asked.

�Yes!� I said without blinking. Yuki looked at me suspiciously at first. Oh crap! Has he begun to tell if I am lying or not? I put on my usual stoic face. Yuki smiled again.

�Great!� he said. Then, he went on with the talking. I smiled a little bit. Just keep inside your head and act like you�re listening. Everything will be fine.

I don�t know why I tell myself that lie when I go through a withdrawal. Maybe, it�s motivation to keep going. Maybe, it�s for Yuki�s sake. I don�t really know. But, that little tricks not working today. Today is going to be a bitch. The morning class wasn�t helping me either. I could barely focus at all. The teacher�s voice seemed so faint today. Thoughts of blood were washing around in my mind. I blinked hard to block them out. But, the thoughts just kept on coming. Uh oh! I feel it coming again. The craving is coming back. Pretty soon, my head started to ache. I started taking in deep breaths. I slowly opened my eyes after two minutes. I can see it all. Their blood cries out for me to drink it. The scent proved to be overpowering for me. I began to feel dizzy. I could barely think anymore. My head is killing me. My body broke out in a cold sweat. The pain� is� going� to me� I don�t know how much more I can take. I quickly got up from my seat and ran to the bathroom. I didn�t care who was watching me.

*Yuki*

I watched on in worry. Something is wrong with Shizu-kun. I just know it. He never tells me, but I know. I saw it in his eyes this morning. That tough guy doesn�t work anymore. I know him too well. And something tells me he needs my help now. The teacher looked on worried.

�Can somebody go check on Shizuma?� she asked aloud. I raised my hand high.

�I�ll go,� I said. The teacher breathed out.

�Thank you, Fujita-kun,� she said to me. I bowed my head and hurried out to the bathroom.

I walked into the bathroom and looked around. �Shizu-kun!� I called out. �Shizu-kun, where are you?� Then, I heard loud panting. I quickly jerked my head upwards. I saw my love huddled on the floor in tears. He was trembling all over. He looked like he would throw up. My heart ached for him again.

�Shizu-kun,� I said to him. �Shizu-kun, it�s me! Are you okay?� He didn�t answer me at all. Shizu-kun just slowly looked up at me. His eyes were a deep wine red. I was a little scared, but didn�t show it. He needed me after all. I couldn�t abandon him now. Not like this.

*Shizuma*

The pain in my chest increased once again. I thought that was going to die. The whole room seemed to be closing in on me right now. It all seemed so dark all of a sudden. I could see all Yuki�s hot blood flowing through his body. I could hear his heart pounding loudly in my ears. I became dizzy again. My hunger shot up higher in my mind. I shut my eyes tightly. �Please go away!� I thought. �You�re only making the problem worse by being here! Go away from me now!� He still kept coming towards me. The pain and temptation grow much worse. I cried out in deep agony. I could feel the pain taking over my body now. I couldn�t breathe anymore. Was this going to be the end of me? Would Yuki die at my hands? Would I succumb to my sick blood thirsty desires again? No! I can�t let it end this way! But I can�t fight it now�

*Yuki*

I was in a panic now. I had never seen Shizu-kun like this before. He�s in really deep pain I can tell. I began to fear for the worst. I hurried right over to my love. I reached out to him.

�Shizu-kun!� I said to him. When I got close enough to touch him, my love slapped my hand away from him. I stepped back startled.

�Shizu-kun,� I called again. �What�s wrong?�

�Go away!� he hissed to me in his little huddle. I looked at him confused.

�Shizu-kun,� I said again. �What�s the matter?�

�JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, OKAY?!? DAMN IT!!!� he yelled at me as he shoved me again. Shizu-kun then rose to his feet and flew out of the bathroom window. I watched him with my heart in deep pain. I sank down to my knees. �Shizu-kun�� I thought with tears in my eyes. My heart ached for him so much. There must be something I could do for him.

*Shizuma*

I stood on the roof alone. The message is loud and clear to me now. I can�t fight this alone. I have ignored this problem so long that I am in over my head. But, I can�t turn to Yuki. I don�t want to drag him in any deeper than I already have. I sighed and looked up at the sky. I don�t know what to do now.

Then, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned and saw Yuki-chan staring right at me. He looked as if he was going to cry now. I shook my head frustrated. Damn it, why can�t he just leave me alone?!? What the hell is wrong with this boy? Can�t he see that I am a danger to him? Has love blinded that much that he can�t take a hint? Damn him!

Clear and Present Danger