Shame Trap:

Everything up to this point had been because of him. I rejected Kaoru and now he’s making me pay for it. I couldn’t afford to lose any more people. I’ll kill him even if it takes me forever. The city around me couldn’t drag me out of my rage. Enough of this. I’m going to end this tonight!

When I got home, there was nobody around. My nostrils flared as I looked around.

“Hello?” I asked. “I’m home.” There lights weren’t even turned on. Did he do something to them already? I took off my shoes and slowly walked inside.

“I’m home,” I said again. “Is anybody here?” When I made it to the living room, I spotted a note on the end table.

“Dear Setsuna-chan,” it read. “Went up to visit relatives in Sapporo, be back tomorrow. Love, Dad.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Why did I rush over here? I could’ve just called them and asked where they were. I cursed myself as I smacked my forehead. How did I fall for such a trick?

I paused when I heard rustling in the house. I jerked my head upwards.

“Who’s there?” I asked. I pulled myself to my feet and took slower steps through the living room. Did he already track me down here?

“Come out and show yourself!” I shouted. A woman about my age poked her head around the corner. I tilted my head.

“Suki…-chan?” I asked. My dear friend walked into the living room looking as confused as I was.

“Setsuna?” she asked. She put her hands over her mouth. “It is you! What are you doing here?”

“I came home when someone told me to check on my family,” I said.

“Well, they aren’t here,” Suki said.

“I can see that. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Ah, your folks couldn’t get hold of you to watch the house while they were gone,” my friend explained. “Your grandma happened to think of me as the first person to contact. You really should try and contact your family sometime.” The way she said it made my stomach drop.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ve just been through some rough times lately. I needed to get away for a bit.” Suki walked over and hugged me.

“If you need to talk to someone, I am here for you,” she said told me. I suddenly felt like crying again. I collapsed with her holding me to my knees on the tatami mats. Through all of this rage and sorrow, I almost forgot that I was still loved.

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I decided to stay the night in the house. I couldn’t risk losing another friend. It felt almost alien to be back in my own home. Suki rushed around the kitchen to make me dinner.

“Have you eaten yet?” she asked. I shook my head.

“Okay, I’ll make you something quick,” Suki said.

“Oh, no, no,” I said. “You don’t have to.”

“No, I want to,” she insisted. Her tone told me not to argue with her. I sat at the table as I watched her.

“I could help you if you want,” I offered.

“No, I’m good,” Suki said as she got out the soy sauce.

“But it’s my house,” I said. She whipped around from the stove.

“You’re been through some things,” Suki said. “Please, let me be the one to take care of you.” I opened my mouth, but she held up her hand.

“Do not argue with me,” she said. “You just sit there and look pretty.” I sat back closed my mouth. Suki turned back to the stove.

“Good,” she said. “Afterwards, you can have a bath and go to bed.” For a moment there, my friend started to sound like Mama. I choked back my tears as I nodded.

“Okay,” I said. What did I do to have a friend like her?  Suki made me my favorite, curry udon. I couldn’t remember the last time I had this dish. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I had any type of home-cooked meal. Being on the run so long had done so much to me. I couldn’t stop crying as I ate.

“How is it?” Suki asked. I nodded as I ate up more. She picked up her chopsticks and took a bite of her dish.

“Mmm,” she said. “This actually turned out better than I thought it would.” After dinner, we took turns taking a bath. (She let me go first, of course.) For once since this nightmare began, I felt peace. I didn’t think about how long that would last. I just enjoyed the here and now.

“Good night,” Suki whispered as she lay in the futon next to me.

“Night,” I said, smiling. I fell asleep thinking that peace would continue into morning.

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Late in the early morning hours, I awoke to a soft moan. At first, I thought that I was dreaming. When the sounds didn’t stop, I drew one eye open. Waves of heat and color moved back and forth. It wasn’t clear to me what I was looking at. I pulled open my other eye and turned over on my side. The blurred red still danced in front of my eyes. This time, it sounded like a woman choking while a man was gulping.

What… What is this?

It was then my eyes widened as the realization sank in.

Kaoru was on top on my dear friend, Suki. Both were naked and he had his teeth sunk into her throat. His talons sank into her shoulders as he pounded into her. She lay with blood coming out of mouth her eyes wide open, pleading for me to help her. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. I put my hand to my throat.

What’s happening here? Why can’t I speak?

I reached out, but she seemed so far away. When did he have time to move her futon away? Kaoru looked at me and smirked the whole time. The cocky look in his eyes made my blood burn.

“You this here?” he seemed to ask. “I have your friend and you can’t do anything about it! What, didn’t I tell you? I own you. I will keep destroying everything you care about until you understand that.” I could hear his words and laughter ringing in my head. I gritted my teeth.

“Kaoru, I hate you, my bastard!” I snapped in the silence. Suki coughed up a huge ball of blood as that pale monster reached his climax. His eyes stayed on me as he faded into the darkness. Tears of bitterness ran down my cheeks as I stared at Suki’s blood-covered body.

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By morning, I foolishly hoped that it was all a bad dream that Kaoru pushed into my head. But then I awoke to see Suki’s lifeless body lying in the futon next to me, clean of blood.