Chapter Fourteen: Out in the Warm Night:

Close to midnight, I woke up unable to sleep anymore. I looked to my left to find Sappoto-san still sound asleep next to me. It felt kind of funny to me in a sense. She still manages to look so innocent even in her sleep. She may be in her thirties, but Sappoto-san�s still a child at heart. I lightly stroked her short dark blue hair.

�Br right back,� I whispered. Then, I climbed out of bed, got dressed, and slipped out of the room.

It felt so surreal tonight. I�m here, but yet I�m not here. Even the sounds of the city sound so distant. I closed my eyes and took in the light drizzle. I took in a deep breath. So this is Seoul at night, huh?, I thought.

My mind wandered back to Andi. My little Russian sweet tart. I wonder how she�s doing now. Is she upset without me? Has she even tried to call me? I haven�t been able to check my phone for days. I don�t want to get roaming charges while I�m out at sea. Can�t afford them, but I bet my voice mail is thirty-eight percent full by now.

I walked along the high city wall. Then, there�s Noiz and Mosh. Has Noiz noticed that I�ve been gone yet? Have meeting staff meetings have been held without me? Surely someone would�ve noticed by now. Surely, they would�ve.

I paused and looked over the wall in the drizzle. Whoa, I never thought it would look so tiny from up here. The lights reminded me of fireflies for some reason. There is something in my head I cannot recall about my childhood on the farm. I know it is there, but I just can�t seem to unlock it from my head. I know something happened, but I just can�t reach it. Did it involve my sister? I am sure without a doubt that it did. I wouldn�t be surprised if I was right.

I gritted my teeth as I remembered why I started this adventure in the first place. Umiko has always given me hell. When she�s not trying to keep me down with her own arrogance, she tries to use me like her little pawn. When I moved to the city, I saw that as my chance for freedom. However, that turned out to be short-lived when she moved in with Andi and me. It became just like the old days from there. Towards the end of the summer semester, I just couldn�t take it anymore. So, here I am.

I closed my eyes and drew in a breath. I can�t be thinking about that now. I have escaped from that. Don�t bring it with me! I listened to the wind blow past my ears to help clear my mind. I saw Andi�s mind within my calm. I quickly opened my eyes and looked around. Andi?, I thought with a racing heart. I dropped my shoulders and sat down. Oh that�s right; I�m still alone. Alone on a high brick over-looking the city. I sighed aloud. This sucks.

My attention turned back to the sky. So many stars out tonight. My grandma used to say each star represents someone close to you in your lifetime. Let�s see, that would be Andi, Takeo, Noiz, Ryu-kun, Umiko (like I have a choice), the staff of TZA, Hara-sensei, my first girlfriend, my first boyfriend. That is a lot of stars to count. To think that much love could fill the skies. It�s crazy! That much love would drown us all! I know mine would. I chuckled to myself at that thought. But then, my laughter died down.

I clapped my feet together over the wall. I feel so lonely now. I don�t want to go back to bed yet. I�m not tired anymore. But staying out here will make me feel sad all over again. I�m not liking my options here at the moment. I wiggled my feet around below me. Stay out here or go back inside? Stay out here or go back inside? Stay out here or go back inside? Hm� This lingered in my head for a little while longer. I dropped my shoulders.

Fuck it. I carefully pushed myself up to my feet and headed back toward the hostel. It�s amazing that I managed to slip back in without anyone really noticing me. I don�t think that they really care at this time of night. I was almost home free. Almost.

I silently closed my room door behind me.

�Where have you been?� someone whimpered at me. I nearly leapt up in the air. I could see Sappoto-san�s grey-blue eyes staring at me in the darkened room. I blinked at my older friend.

�Sappoto-san?� I whispered. �What are you doing up this early? It�s only three in the morning.� I paused would I heard her crying. I blinked at the sound.

�Sappoto-san?� I asked. �What�s wrong?�

�You left me!� she wailed. My face just dropped.

�What?� I asked. Sappoto-san raced over to me and grabbed me by the ankles.

�Hey!� I cried. She looked up at me with tear-filled eyes.

�You left me!� she whimpered again. �I had a dream that you left me because you couldn�t stand me even more and when I woke up, you weren�t there!� Sappoto-san cried harder on my feet. I rolled my eyes. I don�t have time for this!

�It was just a dream, Sappoto!� I said. My friend looked up at, still crying.

�But you were gone!� she said. �Your side of the bed was empty!�

�Well, I�m here now,� I said. �It was all a dream.� She blinked away her tears at me.

�But Miho-chan�� she whimpered.

�It was a dream!� I insisted. Sappoto-san slowly sat back and wiped away her tears. She slowly nodded at me, sniffling.

�Okay,� she said. I breathed some.

�Good,� I said. �Now go back to bed.�

�Okay,� Sappoto-san whispered. Then, she walked over to the bed and climbed in. I sat on the foot of the bed and watched her sleep. I sneered to myself as I shook my head. Oh crap. Now I�m going to have tell the truth to her later on.

God, I hate dealing with her at times.